Previously in The Indigo Life . . .

There comes a time in everyone’s life where they stop to ponder all the things about their current life. We ponder things by asking questions such as: does life exist in other places in the universe, will I ever get married, do I need religion, whatever happened to that friend of mine, and my personal favorite, How did I get here?

Life is an amazing evolving thing from year to year at one point in your life things seem to be ever consistent and then in what feels to be an instant you are looking at everything and wondering, what happened? When the question, “What happened?” occurs it is not always good or bad sometimes it is our way of simply acknowledging that things are completely different in our life now from how they were at some other point.

I am at one of those points in my life. I look back over the past two years spent since my return to Philly and I reminisce about the amazing roller-coaster of a ride it has been. Sometimes I panic about the fact that I am not where I had planned my life to be but all the same it has been a fun ride.

When I started this blog and for the following five years I had the same 5 close friends, Jaiye, Jazz, Tia, Phil and RJ. Betrayal caused my friendship with Jazz to end, utter disrespect ended things with Jaiye and miscommunication ended things with Phil, as for Tia and RJ while I still consider them friends I have to accept the fact that I met them through Jaiye and that makes things awkward.

But here I am at a different point in my life where I find myself as part of a foursome, just like most television shows. When I first moved back to Philly I met this sweetheart of a young man named Icon, A tall teddy bear exocentric type, who seemed to make friends no matter where he went. He and I became instant best friends we admired each other for the things that made us unique and in so realized while we may seem totally different we have a freakish amount in common.

Through Icon I met Qhoiyn, a freestyle androgynous rapper and Alizé an art student and drag performer. I remember I had stepped out of the scene and when I stepped back into it Icon welcomed me with opened arms and was quick to introduce me as his best friend to all the new and interesting people he had met. Before I knew it I was going to this show and that show and the two people that I always bumped into weather I was with icon or not were Alizé and Qhoiyn. Soon our foursome became strong and a night on the town was not complete unless at least three of the four was present and if all four were around we became our own private party that many wanted to attend.

The four of us all bottoms and black noticed that we exuded different black female stereotypes that went hand in hand with certain black names. We all choose from, Vera, Tammy, Connie, and Phyllis. Aunt Phyllis was the simple yet intelligent one a bit like Charlotte York but with a black woman’s ferocity and the ability to keep certain people in line. Aunt Connie, your round the way type girl with her own style and known for carrying a big bag and always being prepared, loveable to a fault but she leaves everyone afraid to piss her off despite she almost never says a mean word to anyone. Aunt Tammy is a round the way type girl as well, she will say what is on her mind and if she don’t like you do not bother trying to change it. Rough around the edges she is loved by all who are in her circle and she is protective of her friends. Lastly Aunt Vera, the bitch of the group, this girl does what she has to in order to survive and make ends meet fiercely protective of her friends, she has a really hard shell and the only way through it is if she lets you. If you want to get hurt mess with her, if you want to die mess with her friends.

My group of friends is dynamic and for the first time in my life I can see these people being the ones that in 10 years from now even if we all live in different parts of the country calling each other up to see how we are all doing and trying to arrange a trip to meet up. It is comforting to have people in my life who are so different from one another and the rest of the world but I share so much in common with. Three strong black gay men who embrace all things gay but refuse to put it into a box. They take what they like and make it their own. Not to mention it is going to make for some dynamic post in the upcoming future.

Men

Whenever a big change is going to come many times you will notice your past will literally replay fast forward in your present. Around Christmas Mr. M and I began talking and things were peaceful and looked like they might turn out the way I always wanted but after a visit to Philly things changed and now we hardly talk anymore.  I bumped into Ramon at iCandy and after talking to him for maybe an hour I realized that even at 31 he was never going to change. Then one night at a dinner while trying to help a new friend I bumped into Damien, the old flame grew strong when he sat next to me and we began flirting like we used to. The next few days it was a few texts about how I was supposed to have been "wiffie" but soon the text stopped and I lost all interest.

Then Dr. MeTo, the text and phone calls began and figured I would go with it, see what would happen. I had admitted to all the times I cheated on him and he became angry with me and then my phone was cut off so there was no communication for two weeks. Now he wanted to pursue things, come for a visit and see how we felt when we saw one another. The phone calls and text continued for about three weeks and soon I got a text to indicate I was yet again put on his back burner until he had time to deal with the idea of us again.

I figured since I was yet again on the back burner I would begin focusing on me and having a good time and as history would have it that is when someone who is really interested shows up.

Mister Wonderful

The app grindr I had decided was nothing more than a waste of time. I never made any friends or got any dates off of it. Most times I met a few guys, would chat for a couple days and that was the end. But this one night while leaving my best friends and heading home I decided to check while I was on the El and I got a message for sex. Flattered I responded but I was not interested in hooking up with some stranger. Little did I know that this simple friendly response was a huge turn on for this guy. I did not send dirty pictures, and I was not changing my evening so I could go jump in bed with him. I did however take the time to chat it up and soon from talking about him trying to get into my pants we began trying to get to know one another, that seemed to turn him on more and more and soon face pictures were swapped and as I laid myself to sleep I remember thinking, this guy is hot.

We exchanged phone numbers and we sent each other text every day. I even went as far as sending him some naughty pictures in response to the ones he sent me, something I almost never do. The more we talked the more we liked one another until one night we just had to meet. It was a Thursday and after a failed attempt on Wednesday we ensured that we would meet that Thursday. Tabu was having 5 dollar Jamison and so patiently I waited and sipped while talking to the bartender I have had a crush on for the longest time. Then I noticed the guy who was two seats over also knew the bartender and so we began to chat. As if it were rehearsed for a movie, when he was getting up to leave my Mr. Wonderful walked in. I was later told that looks were exchanged but I failed to notice.

He was more attractive in person and had the kindest eyes. I was also tipsy so I encouraged him to catch up. I soon learned that he was a Patrón kind of guy and both the bartender and I looked at him as if to ask, “Do you know where you are?” he soon realized that this was not the kind of bar you order Patrón when he heard how much his drink was. Soon icon showed up and I bought him two drinks, the night prior was not a good one for him. Then Qhoiyn showed up but at that point I was done. Tabu closed and we all headed to Voyeur and danced the night away and Mr. Wonderful and I not wanting to call it a night decided to go back to his place. The trip seemed to take forever, cuddling at PATCO making out on the train, a quick nap and soon we were at his stop where he drove his car to his house.

Things went as far as I could stand to let them go and he was a gentleman the whole time. We cuddled until I heard him jump up and I soon realized what went down that night. I drank a lot but in true form I had no regrets. He drove me back to PATCO and went on to the meeting he was almost late for. I went right back to my mom’s house and passed out. The afternoon before I ate soup made with pork not thinking about my allergy and in conjunction with a night drinking like a peasant I was in pain. I had to call out of work and it was not until my mom came home that the necessary things could be one for me to feel better.

I began texting Mr. Wonderful and the whole time it was do you remember? We both admitted to having a great time and not being able to wait until we saw each other again. I remember putting my phone down after texting him back, goodnight, and thinking, “How do I tell MeTo?”