18 January 2015

So Much For Single . . .

Last year I took a trip to Vegas and this year I decided I would do my best to save money and decided that if funds allowed I would simply go and visit my friends that live in NYC. Before I knew it I was financially on track until I realized that my mother’s 50th birthday was at hand and the weekend I chosen for her party was before I would get paid. I began trying to make things work and even went as far as trying to make it a surprise.

I took her to dinner and a movie and as far as she thought that would be it. It was the first week in a long time that I not only had a day off but 3 days off and so it was chemo Wednesday with mom then her birthday on Thursday and then, believe it or not, I had a date on Friday.

I had been talking to a guy named Caps for well over a year. I met him through a mutual friend and right before the holiday season we had a great night hanging out and he had asked me to go to the holiday party at work. After not hearing from him for over 2 weeks I gave the slot to Irvin.

Irvin and I had been talking for months with the intentions on developing a friendship but one night the conversation became so interesting we decided we would allow our first meeting to be a date. I figured happy hour in the city so we decided to meet at Bike Stop and then Moriarty's for dinner. He was better looking in person and I had already thought him a cutie from the pics he sent and soon he started making me laugh. My biggest weakness when it comes to men are the cute and funny ones. When I started laughing I knew I wanted a second date. I did not want the night to end I was having so much fun just talking to him I was turned on but able to control myself. I was not sure if it was the alcohol or him but I felt I wanted more from him.

We decided to leave and he offered to give me a ride home, I was excited because it meant I could get a kiss good night. And once in front of my door it was a kiss to knock socks off. It lasted a while and one kiss became many and a conversation and it became official I really liked the guy.

We had plans to meet after I got off work Saturday and he didn’t want to drink so I suggested Llanerch Diner, it was not in the city, not far from my house and my friend Ethan was able to give me a ride there because it was up the street from his house.

We met at the diner and we both blushed, we were really into one another. Dinner, Trivia Crack, and then a ride around town which ended with coffee at Wawa and a scratch off ticket. We joked and talked and really spent the night getting to know one another and the good night kiss lasted longer and was more intense than the last time.

Sunday I got a text from him saying he had a bad day and wanted to see me. I wanted nothing more but I was at work. He insisted that he come pick me up and I allowed it. He took me too a diner and then coffee at Wawa and then we spent several hours talking in his car. I laughed, I swooned and blushed and talked. It was odd it felt like I knew him for so long yet I was not bored he was sweet and charming but strong and commanding I tried comparing him to my exes in my head and there was no comparison he was different than all the former loves of my life from Mister M and Meto to Cocky and wonderful.

When I walked to my door I was numb with infatuation, we just spent several hours being intimate without sex, and neither of us had to tell the other no, things went only as far as we both wanted them to go. I wanted to find some fault, something I could take back to my friends so they could tell me not to proceed, the way things had gone so many times before but there was nothing. He had demons and dealt with them, he has realistic goals with plans to achieve them, he is cute, he is funny, he looks and acts like a man, he thinks the world of me, he is confident and intelligent He truly is, prince charming.

The next few days we spent texting each other almost nonstop, emogies, pictures, talks about or days and anything else we could share. My friends could see that I was not just infatuated but I had found someone who had my interest on more than a sexual level. I could see their reactions as I talked about him and they were all shocked it was almost like they were saying, “You are falling.” And there was nothing anyone could do about it.

It seemed I had just slammed and bolted the door to the MeTo saga and then Irvin shows up and whisk me away.

After getting home from work and saying good night to the new love interest I decided to brows facebook. I noticed that Mister M had posted something and based on the comments it sounded like he was moving so I texted him. . .

“So I hear you are moving”

“Where did you hear that lol”

“Facebook, Unless I read it wrong”

“You read correctly”

“Where are you moving to?”

“KOP”


Mister M went n to tell me that  he missed the east coast and had been planning the move for quite some time and everything was set for him to move back to the Philadelphia area. 

15 January 2015

2014 Recap


Well it was the year that I thought I was done with my blog. I unceremoniously just abandoned it. However interesting moments inspired me to write and so I shared them with you guys. I am unsure if anyone still reads this but it would appear that for 2015 I still need The Indigo Life. Not even a full month in and my head is spinning with what has happened but let’s recap 2014 first.

In good form I rang in the New Year with my good friend Bombshell, her boyfriend and a mutual friend of ours. After the fireworks I went to see my friend Wallace who had gotten a room downtown.  Noting sexual happen aside from my clothes coming off and a little making out. He was sharing a room with his friend who appeared an hour or so after a steamy make out session, and announced that he did coke with some random guy at Voyeur and at that I popped my head from under the covers. I thanks G-d that I was still drunk and soon after awkward introductions I was fast asleep. In the morning we woke chatted and I then did the walk of shame to work. Wallace and I tried dating but he wanted to be chased and I was not interested in games so we soon went separate ways.

Then Vegas happened and I thought Meto and I was done but after an accidental drunk phone call from my sister he decided to text me. Mister M and I had a fight and I realized I needed to find a way to enjoy single life. Soon I quit working at Bacharach due to poor quality and a complete lack of standing behind their product and took to focus on working at Nordstrom and helping my mother recover from Breast Cancer surgery.

By the time of my Birthday Mom was starting to take a turn. My sister who had moved in with her boyfriend was of no help and even decided to just not show up to my first party. She arrived to the family function and decided to be a bitch the entire time. Our relationship seemed to just die.

Then Mister Big came into my life and Mister Cocky tried to get me back. Due to Mister Cocky’s inconsistent behavior I decided to let the bag out at work, perused something with Mister Big ad told Cocky to go pound sand. I had to take care of my mother with little help and Big wanted to much of my time, after a text message I decided to just ignore him.

On july 4th my cousin gave birth to a baby girl giving me my second Godchild. It was official I had one of each so I was done. With two godchildren and great friends I decided to spend the summer getting closer to my friends and it was one great time after the other. Soon the doctors figured out what was going on with my mother. She began chemo and responded well.

By the end of the summer my sister found herself single with no place to live and ever where she turned she heard “I Told you so.” You do not move in with a guy you have only been dating a few months.

I found myself on vacation in Atlanta Georgia where I found out is the birthplace of coca cola and my play wife Monroe went to college. Monroe showed us her favorite spots, her local best friend and after a trip to the coca cola factory I was in love with the town. Labor Day weekend is also black pride weekend and I was at home, without trying I began making connections and meeting people. I came back to Philly on cloud nine and convinced that I was over the town that I called home for all of my adult life.

Soon work got on my nerves and I got a second job and then my mother gave me her car and I got a third job. It was not long before the holidays were upon us and leaving one job on black Friday I hit a patch of black ice and totaled my car. I had already had an accident and was trying to save up money to get it fixed and now the car was gone.

I survived the holidays and was able to buy everyone that mattered presents. When the year started my Mom was not on track recovery wise, my cousin was having a complicated pregnancy and I was looking for love and hoping one of my exes held the key. I eventually told Meto how I truly felt and when he reverted to old habits I decided to cover all my bases, a text, email and a Facebook message i was ensuring that it was clear I wanted nothing to do with him and that he was to never contact me again.


2015 started and I had two God children, great friends, a plan for the year, A healthy mother, a relationship with my sister and I was thoroughly happy with being single. But like I always tell my friends the moment you begin to enjoy being single someone is going to come along and mess it up. 

01 January 2015

Happy New Year 2015

There comes a time when one must examine their life and make changes. Welcoming in a new year seams the perfect time to do such evaluations. For so long I wrote about MeTo and how I hoped he and I would either become friends or get back together the same with Mister M but as it stands my future is not in my past. MeTo for whatever reason could not find a way to move forward without repeating the past and so I had to cut my losses which are great and let him go.

The headrest part in cutting him out of my life completely is that all the things that I had attached value to because of memories or the fact that they had once belonged to my father are now gone never to be seen by me again because I trusted a very selfish person.

Giving up on what one could call the greatest love of my life, thus far, makes me reevaluate many of the friendships that I am currently holding on to. Many of the people who came to my rescue at my darkest time have moved on with life. Not that they have abandoned me but life moved us forward in different directions and we all just moved along taking different paths when presented with a fork in the road.

I have had a great life and met so many wonderfully interesting people but the lessons learned are so great in number. I look back at that 21 year old boy just coming out of the closet and trying to find his way. The way that I used to dress and my dreams for my future. The gay man that I wanted to become. I look in the mirror and I am happy with whom I see. He is different, unimaginable, loveable, well liked and truly blessed although scared and scorned he is a happy person full of love.

I was young and I knew absolutely nothing but thought I knew enough, then the day came and I realized I knew nothing because I had learned so much. Am I a man now? I am not quick to remake bad mistakes in hopes that because a few variables have changed the result will change. I avoid the temptation to recreate the past. I lived it once and made my memories, no need to try and create them over. I no longer miss lovers past or friends who I have lost touch with, if it was meant to be it would be, because I did try.


I have such great memories and I am still so young. This is what drives me forward it is my goal to create a full life that only I can create, I know not what my future holds but I do know the fun part is creating it. So I welcome 2015 and my resolution is to continually let go of the past and not let it hold me back. Let the good times roll.