Mister Big, Lamb, Helium

You can never judge a book by its cover or who you are going to fall in love with for that matter. I immediately decided that if I was to get a good read on Mister Big that I would have to go on a second date. And so what was supposed to be a stressful adjustment to my Friday plans turned into a much needed escape.

Big decided to make plans at his favorite restaurant Zahav an Israeli restaurant in Old City. I had mentioned how Lamb was my favorite meat and immediately he knew I would love the place. It was decided that our second date would be to Zahav and then Helium night club.

I had given him the all clear for the Next Friday but it turned into that Friday, a miscommunication. After talking to a friend at work it was decided that if I was going to be into Mister Big then I needed to find out sooner rather than later and so I went with the flow.

Friday was an early day, G-d father duty and then running home to get dressed for the date. In true form the outfit that was planned hand to be changed. As I was checking the shirt for wrinkles I noticed spots and had to pick what turned out to be a better option, my teal blue shirt from express. It always got compliments.

I met Big at the restaurant and we both were running late and when we walked in I soon learned that Big was not just a nick name. He was immediately recognized by managers and a few of the wait staff. He told me how he sometimes brought clients here from work and it was apparent that his patronage was not just welcomed but enjoyed. The waitress was enthusiastic about making recommendations and even added some comps so that I could try some things that we decided we would save for a future visit.

There were moments where I felt left out but soon realized that going with the flow and not having expectations yielded for a more enjoyable time. From trying duck hearts to going out with him on his smoke breaks the night was just one happy moment after the other.

I was warned beforehand that it was going to be a lot of food but that was an understatement. By the time the lamb arrived I was stuffing the food in but it was well worth it. I thought we were at the end but there was still desert and that was awesome as well a type of ice cream sandwich with coca powder then a desert with shredded filo dough and berries accompanied by a French press. I was on cloud nine if the night had ended there I would have been more than content but it was far from over.

We then went to Helium comedy club where none stop laughs were accompanied by cocktails. The end result was a man who could not stop smiling and left me wanting to break the rules of proper courtship. I was given a ride home and a good, good night kiss.

I walked in the door thinking, “Am I really dating the gay Mister Big?” 

Mister Big?

After dealing with a few bad dates and time wasters I decided to venture out and take a walk on the wild side. He messaged me on A4A like so many men have done before except he had actually messaged me before. This time we decided to meet. He offered to treat me to happy hour at Valanni.

The day of our date it was raining and we both ended up being late I was more late than he was. When I arrived he was everything I imagined, tall and handsome but older. He was every bit of a gentleman. We talked about my mother and what was going on with her and then we talked about our jobs and small things like the weather. While talking about his job he explained how his friends said he looked like Mister Big from Sex and the City. I did not see the resemblance but when picturing him in a suit I could see how he could fit the roll.

Later he explained he was a smoker and asked me to join him outside. I found it odd that he would ask me to join him for his cigarette but I figured he was paying and because he insisted I obliged. It was outside that we began to talk about my smoking history. I told him how I had quit several months ago and he talked about how he has tried every way to quit and nothing worked.

The night went on and I just found there not to be any spark. Here I am on a date with a man who is literally 20 years older than me, divorced from his wife, has a 17 year old daughter, a bad 5 year gay relationship and smokes.

Before I knew it he was drunk, the bartender and I both were shocked that he finished an entire bottle of vodka by himself. He denied it but when the check arrived it was evident that this 6’4 man definitely drank a whole bottle. I had to figure out the tip for him. When he went to the bathroom our bartender asked if it was our first date and I told her it was. To which she replied, “He is good sugar daddy material.” I laughed it off but that was exactly it I could not see him as more than a sugar daddy and that was unattractive. He made several comments throughout the night about how he makes a lot of money and could see his daughter and I shopping while he carried the bags.

As we walked out he handed me flowers. He was blatantly drunk and remembered that when he was sober he bought me flowers. I felt completely emasculated it’s one thing to by drinks and appetizers it’s another to just apply Hetero-normatives.

I gave him a pass and told him I would go on a second date with him. I figured he was not used to dating men or was aware of proper etiquette. He being too drunk meant that I had to take SEPTA home, and so I did, carrying a small bouquet of pink and yellow tea roses.