Thursday was class in the morning and a date in the evening.
The guy that I was making out with on my birthday wanted to see me again and so
we decided to meet for coffee at old Starbucks. On the way I downloaded the Facebook
chat app and saw MeTo online. I said hi not thinking he would respond, but he
did. I thought maybe I would get closure but this conversation only broke my
heart more, it is hard to hear someone who hurt you the way he did say he loves
you and all the other things you expect to hear from a man who wants you. It
did not make any since and as I walked into Starbucks the whole crew was there,
Dom, Icon, the Angry Barista and Darr.
My face was a tragic mess and I was greeted with, “Oh my g-d what’s
wrong.” I told them I needed a minute and I told MeTo I had to go because I was
out.
I took a few seconds to compose myself then proceeded to
explain what was going on. In my explanation I soon realized how much I give of
myself to others and how well my friends know the key players in my love life.
I was so hurt that no matter how hard I tried MeTo just would not give me
closure. If you love someone let them go properly, don’t string them along.
I told my friends that I was meeting a date and that I am
probably making a mistake. I then turned around to find my date sitting right
behind me. I tried to pretend all was ok but it was not. We decided to go for
drinks and I bid my friends a good night. I told Evan that I am going through a
lot and that I would explain it all, once we got to Tabu. On the way I asked
about him and he used humor and enthusiasm to describe himself and his life.
At Tabu I poured it all out, i told him about MeTo and
Wonderful. He was able to relate and I felt 10 times better. Over drinks we got
to know one another better and I began to honestly smile and laugh and for a
few minutes here and there I forgot about my broken heart.
I walked him to the train and after a great kiss good night
proceeded home. Upon boarding the trolley I got a text from Mr. Wonderful.
Nothing was concise he was asking me questions about my whereabouts, who I was
with, what I was doing. I asked him what was with all the questions and it was
not until I was almost home that he told me he wanted to meet me a Tabu. I told
him I was home already and things began to get weird.
He called me and asked what was going on, I told him I was
confused and he hung up before I could explain. The last I checked he was
thinking about giving me a second chance and had yet to make up his mind. When
his text became less and less I decided to live my life and stop waiting. Now
the very second I try to move on I was getting overwhelmed.
He accused me of sleeping with other people, told me to call
someone else to sleep with and so on and so on. When I tried to call him no
answer and when I sent him a text asking him to answer his phone he said no. I
then got a call from Eddy, the 21 year old I dated from Delaware.
What the hell was going on? Here I am trying to live life
without expectations and no matter how hard I try to move on and just enjoy me,
other people get thrown into the mix. Eddy decided he was going to come up to
visit and I allowed him. I was pissed with the world. I was pissed with MeTo
for breaking my heart and still not having the decency to call and talk it out.
I was pissed with Wonderful for making me out to be a whore and never telling
me how he felt because I was supposed to figure it out and I was pissed with
Eddy for being such a sweetheart. I called Mister Married for advice and there
was no answer.
By the time Eddy arrived I was calm enough to think
rationally and invited him in. I told him everything about everyone and he
listened and gave me a hug. He then told me about his situation and I felt even
better about myself. While I had a crap love life he was dealing with cancer
among other things.
We spent hours just talking and sympathizing until he
decided it was time to go. I knew I still had unfinished business with MeTo and
wonderful and was not looking forward to going to my room and checking my
phone. I decided to watch a movie and just when I was about to lay down
wonderful sent me a text and the fight commenced yet again. I dismissed him and
went to bed.
