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-Vixc B-

It Was Awesome

outfest,OutFest,gayborhood,phl,philadelphia,NJ,Vixc B,fun,Friends Singing,Jay,lou,NJ

I would love to say that OutFest was an eventful event but it truly was not. However I did learn a few things. 

So I went down the Saturday before so that I could get a replacement ID. I had lost my wallet and I am still not over that. When I got to the DMV it was 2:00, closed and I was pissed. I checked the web site before I left and it said open Saturday 8 something to 4:15. I read the sign on the door that was taped from the inside and looked like it was about to fall off and it said that the place would be closed Saturday and Monday for Columbus day. Like is Columbus day that serious you need to be closed TWO days.

I call MeTo vented, then I called Jay and vented. After I felt better I went and bought a coke and decided I would go see my best friend. I hung out there and then went to my mom’s and worked on my writing. When she asked why I was in town I simply told her that I had an event to go to on Sunday. She was to happy to see me to give any disproving looks.

When Sunday hit I sent a text to the crew telling them I would met them down there. It took a good while for me to get dressed most of my time was spent doing my makeup. It was MeTo’s and my 9 months and I felt it customary to put some on as he likes it, a lot.

While getting dressed a still groggy Jay called to ask what time I was leaving. After talking about what I was going to wear jay decided he would get up and get dressed. Then he wanted me to meet him at his place so we could go down together. To make a long story short jay took his time about getting dressed and before I knew it my plan to be in the hood by 12 turned into almost 2. But I will admit we made a dynamic duo. We got looks from every angle both male and female.

I was not a block away from the festivities before I heard my name called several times it was my friend Andrew, really tall really book smart but when I came to picking out decent guys dumb as a door knob but I guess that’s most gay men.  It was also the first time Jay met Andrew face to face. We continued on and I got a call from Luis and I told him where to meet us and we went to find MeTo and Ian.

When I bumped into my man I was surprised to see that he dresses really well, to the point Jason went into a loud scream and gave him a huge compliment. I was proud as the jeans and jacket he was wearing was picked out by me. We met with Lou and then my friend Dan and I had one big entourage. We walked all over the gayborhood and I caught up with my Friend Dan.

Dan and I chatted about our days at the prep who from school we kept in contact with and the ever favorite discussion, “Who’s gay.” Dan was about the 40th person to tell me that Neal was not only gay but a total ass hole who just cut all his old friends out his life. Dan also told about he special someone and what he has been up to now that he was done with college.

Ian was quiet and not feeling so well, a bit hung over from the night before. I did my best to include him and with him being the quite type I was worried he was going to get lost in the big gay crowd. It was like having a child I would be deep in conversation look around, not see him then yell, “Where is Ian?” only to have him say I’m right here and giggle.

As for Phil, Tia, and RJ they never showed. Phil had to work and failed to tell me until I was already down there. Tia was hanging with our friend Sam. RJ is dating a new guy and I guess they got lost in each other’s eyes or some romantic shit like that.

The day chugged on and I had one disappointment aside from no ID, I missed Jay’s performance. The first one I missed was my fault but I wanted to see the second and I did not hear him say he was going to go sing but Lou did and sunk off without making sure the group followed.

We all then went out to dinner at ruby Tuesday’s and it was good time until MeTo, Ian and Dan had to get back to NJ to catch the last river line. It was a good time and Jay and I walked around and danced in the street at TOC and then grabbed a drink with a guy that was into jay.

Your probably wondering how did I grab a drink with no ID. Well the place we met Jay’s friend did not card and Jay’s friend picked up the whole tab which I imagined to be huge as he paid with two 100 dollar bills.  Both Jay and I looked at each other and he asked, “Did you see that.” We were impressed. I know it sounds shallow but we’re gay and to have fun in the gayborhood you either have to have money or know people who have money.

So we took our tired ass’s home and parted way on the 113 bus. It was a good time and when I have both my man and my friends in one place I feel like I am on the top of the world. So OutFest was Awesome.

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The art of "Talking"

dirty talk,sex talk,sex,gay sex,talking,party,sex party

As one would have it, holding a conversation is not a casual thing. There are times we are forced into having a conversation. Such as when we meet someone new that we find to be dull, or when we are forced to be the only person left in the room with that family member we do not like, that insist upon asking about school, or work. We all have moments that we just wish we could be somewhere else or with someone else.

Then there are those conversations that we must have with our significant other. We talk about money, the future, what we want for dinner, or plan to do something when we are bored. Many times in a healthy relationship we will find that, that conversation can lead to sex and how it does is more than interesting.

Some guys will use dirty talk as a segue to the main event or events if you’re lucky. While sometimes dirty talk can be just that, the main event. The art of dirty talk seems to be one that is fallen by the way side. I used to be good at it, I could use my words to get both men and women off, but like with most skills it’s a matter of using it or losing it.

Dirty talk is a very complicated thing, which artfully displayed in SATC episode 202. We see Miranda persuaded to get into dirty talk by her boyfriend. She gets into it but when she says the wrong thing her mans leaves her, single again. It makes people wonder what some good sex talk tactics are. Most of us live in a world where avoiding the bad three, is so old school. At dinner parties we love it when the ice is broken and we can all talk about Sex, Politics and religion. When we add convo about contraband and alcohol it really becomes a party. We enjoy talking and hearing about each others’ sexcapades. It’s in the joy of these moments that we learn a lot about the person we are currently sleeping with. Sometimes it’s exciting while other times it’s a little shocking.

“You did what? With who? When?” the questions and the conversation is no longer simple, we have to pay attention to our partners tone and inflection on every word of the story to figure out if what they did was a fun experience or a nightmare. Once you have figured out which stories are good and which are bad, and when you know how they feel about your stories you can now mix it up.

You can try the things you both had an interest in but never actually introduced to the bedroom because you just did not see the other as that freaky. Then you can insinuate with your dirty talk what you are willing to try. Never just come out and say, “I wanna handcuff you to the bed and eat whipped cream off you, like your ex did.” And even if you leave off the, “like your ex did,” the conversation could bring back the night that you had the conversation and they then will think about the ex, and shit just got a whole lot more complicated.

Instead you can say, “I wanna tie you up and lick you all over.” They will really have to stretch their mind to get the, “Like your ex did.” As the conversation continues you can add elements like cherries or strawberries which will lead to the whipped cream.

The goal is to leave your partner wanting to hear your next line. If they can’t think of anything to say they should be able to say, “Oh yes and then what.” Then if you lead it with a “You start doing (whatever)” it should not be long before you dirty talk leads to sex, if that’s the goal, or you can end your conversation by changing the subject.

Dirty talk is fun and it helps you to not only work on your communication skills but also your creativity. I guess I still got it. Typically MeTo and I just call each other names during sex not too much dirty talk, but to each his own and if you like it I love it.  

My BFF has HIV.

Fags and Drama. Again!

What is it that makes gay men and drama go hand and hand? I honestly cannot stand it anymore. My best friend Jay and I have had some issues and we never have made a big deal out of it. It was always “let’s get over this ASAP so we can go back to having fun.” Why doesn't the rest of the Gay world work this way?

Mr. MeTo and I are in love and we hate to deal with drama. We learned how to talk not argue we are now going on ten months and have only had one fight several disagreements but only one fight and the fight and make up took about two hours.

So I have 4 gay best friends, a boy friend a mother who disapproves on of me being gay and then all my other family members. Out of all those people none of them give me as much drama as the people I simply chat with every now and then. I am constantly giving advice on issues that simply are not advice worthy, and they pick fight with me over the dumbest of things. When I try to correct the issue instead of being direct or answering yeas or no questions with a yes or no they rather beat around the bush and prolong the dramatic discussion to the point where I say, “Fuck it, when your over it let me know.” I have no room for drama.

I can’t help but find it fascinating. I am friend with people who have next to no money, don’t get along with family members, are struggling with school, constantly going through guys and it the people who could easily be happy that run down my text messaging, run down y monthly minutes, light up mu aim and msn with stupid shit. And to top it all off when I ask them for advice they don’t know shit.

So this is dedicated to all the Drama Fags. I don’t have time or energy, when your done with the bull call me but until then. I’m busy with being a grown up.

No Cross Dressing Allowed!

Most recently I read an article about a how an all male college has cracked down on cross dressing. The article was a nice short read that was written from an unbiased perspective. The article gave the facts and spoke briefly of how some of the parties involved fell about it.

I have to admit having gone to an all male high school there are certain things that people expect of the graduates. I remember my freshmen year and seeing how many of the students bent the rules, wearing pajama pants to school because a belt was not part of the dress code. I enjoyed having a dress code. Many of my friends went to schools where they had a uniform and many of them liked it just as much if not more.

One of the joys in having a dress code is that it creates a uniform atmosphere without making it look or feel plain or unordinary. I was able to match my shirts with my paints how I saw fit and could use my ties and blisters to express myself. All the student body either did not mind or enjoyed the dress code as it allowed room for individuality and made getting dressed in the morning easier.

The pluses to having a dress code clearly outweigh the negatives for both the individual student, the entire student body and all school employees.

Now this private all male institution put a ban on Cross dressing while on campus and at college sponsored events. I cannot really have qualm with this ban as when one has made the choice to be in an all male environment  it is safe to express one’s self but within reasonable means. Cross dressing is something that makes even gay men uncomfortable at times. In a world where homosexuality is being slowly accepted it is necessary to show that we are not different from others. To many times people take things to the extreme and it creates controversy and misunderstandings.

A gay man starts to wear dresses every chance he gets, he is representing the gay community some people who never have contact with a homosexual until this have only one real impression of being gay. Now this same person has a family member who decides to come out of the closet. Their only idea of a gay man is not a positive one and all they can see is how this person is going to be “Different” and have trouble in life.

I am not saying that ignorance is an excuse to be intolerable of anything but when you have people constantly casting negative light on something and being a poor representative, all future parties must be understanding of this.

The women rights movement worked hard at trying to prove that women are equal to men it took years and is still fighting to move forward but if a woman decides to preach that a wife’s place is in the kitchen like the old stereotype says then the movement is set back. Now if a gay man decides to flaunt the fact that he is not only gay but likes the fact that he fits into the traditional stereotype of what a homosexual man is  we can not be angry that it is taking time for homosexuals to be accepted completely into society.

There is nothing wrong with a man preaching, “Men should act like men.” It’s not sexist if he is willing to be friend a homosexual.  I know that some guys cannot help but act feminine it’s their nature and even they are being accepted but to mix cross dressers and transsexuals in with ordinary people who are gay is not fair and to act the world to do so is wrong.

Society has dictated gender rolls and while man and woman has been amended to include equal right and homosexuality, the gender of a guy who acts like a female and dresses like a female fits into the category of if “if it looks like a duck and it acts like a duck.”

And if a man wants to live as a female why should he be afforded the same privileges of both sexes? All male schools should remain all male schools. All Female schools should remain all female. By mixing in people who are in the middle mental and allowing them to act as in the middle individuals despite the reasons that single gender institutions exist.

Now this ban dose not infringe on ones freedom of speech, expression, or individuality. As these young men are still allowed to pick what they where and discuss issues that they want to when it is appropriate. Every day in the real world we all deal with the restrictions that are put on basic human rights so that we and those that we are around are protected.

I am a gay man who supports this as this ban has been put in place to create a higher standard of excellence in all its students, the reputation of the school and the dose not infringe greatly on the basic human rights of each student.  Not to mention if any student doesn't like it they do not have to attend that school as it is not a public institution.

While some people may disagree with me, think long and hard about what has really happened and is it a really something worth fighting over?