Back when I first came out many of my friends would play the game, “Which one are you.” the game where you take a show that you know well and decide who in your group is the same as in the TV show's group. We would do, Desperate Housewives, Noah's Arc, and of course, Sex and the City.
I used to love to write and was a bit of a hopeless Romantic so because of my looks and innocent hope to find true love I was always voted to be Noah. Also Because I loved to write and was not as out there as some people but more open than others I was always Carrie. As time went on my friends enjoyed pointing out how I was such a Carrie. There was just one thing, I did not have a MR. Big.
It would seem that almost all gay men have a Mr. Big, that guy that they date on and off because they are to perfect for each other and don't want to admit it. While I carried a flame for Mr. M we did not fit the Carrie & Big pattern.
The day came when I fell in love with someone else and we got engaged and once again the Carrie reference was made. I got to my moms and was quite ill my sister told me to take the ring off before I threw up like Carrie. I was in such shock that she said it because I was secretly thinking it. I was not a fan of the ring and the thought of marriage had always been just that, a thought. With Mr. M on the west coast and out of my life Mr. MeTo kept looking more and more like Aidan. Right down to the love of simplicity, the country and working with his hands.
I began to think was I really a Carrie? It was not long before Mr. M was back in my life, via text. I began feeling trapped in my suburban life. It was here that I became Bree Van de Kamp. I became a “Domestic g-d.” I discovered the joys of baking, cooking, maintaining a clean home, hosting parties, decorating and all things domestic. The rolls in my life became blurred, I was Carrie mixed Charlot, or Bree mixed with Gabby. My head was spinning. Who was I any more? I went from wanting to be a model and writer to a chef and cookbook author.
The day came when I looked in my closet and saw that I still dressed like a party boy and so I went to a party. I had fun without my husband to be. I started to go to Philly again and found the old me waiting. I felt alive.
When I moved back I felt a bit of Samantha Jones come out and I went wild. I explored new aspect of my sexuality and before I knew it. It was the parade of the Exes.
