Some Roommates

(I wrote this back when i was engaged and living in Jersey. There was a huge fight and things got akward for a lil bit. I think what ever anyone can pull from this is still valid.)

It is no secret that I am spoiled in many aspects. My first Fulltime job, my relationship with my sister, my first roommate and the first love of my life, all have been above exceptional. I never understood how some people hated their roommates. That is until I did a recent evaluation of a bad roommate. There are certain instances where certain people should not be mixed, like having your best friend move in with you and your boyfriend.

Recently I have learned that when you’re in a relationship things spill out and onto others, this is something I have always figured with my friends but never experienced. There are times when a couple has a fight and the good friend tries to be just that and gets some of the spill over. Normally this is understood and the “Good Friend” knows that so long as he remains neutral and slightly pushes for the relationship then he will remain in good light. This was me always encouraging my friends to remain happy first but being the hopeless romantic, any friend who does less is not a friend.

This all becomes even more difficult if said friend lives with you and is seen more as a child and dependant than a friend or roommate.

In the event that a friend chooses sides and is not seen as someone who is on the side of a peaceful reconciliation then, well what can both parties do if they get back together? The other is an outsider who is “that guy” the one who doesn’t want things to work he is an enemy to the relationship.

Now if you add the fact that they live together, that “that Guy” is seen as someone who needs to be taken care of in the since of, told when to do things, reminded when to pay bills, cleaned up after he now becomes, “That Guy” minus respect. What does one do when you live with an immature ex-friend who is agents your relationship? Do  apologize for the spillover, do you give him a piece of you mind, or do you allow him to walk around like a big baby, intentionally not acknowledging your presence or giving you the money he owes you.  Do you have your boyfriend get involved or do you pull a Vixc-B?

 One could say that you cut him off much like you would do a child. Stop cleaning up after him, cut him off from the things you purchased to make the house run efficiently. Or you could just get even. The simplest form would be to apologize so everything would go back to normal but where is the fun in that? You become the one buying his toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, he will still use your microwave and leave it a mess, use your pots and pans leaving them a mess, borrowing your tools,  using your phones, and pretending you never clean. He will still continue to buy whatever is cheaper when you do ask him to buy house supplies, the brands that last a few days and don’t get anything clean, you know the products that are on the shelves as filler and have dust on them.

So I am at a cross roads. It is clear this person doesn’t like me which is fine and good, it is clear he is not fond of the fact I am engaged to his other roommate, it is clear that he wants an apology, but I am stubborn and I don’t respect him. I find him to be a shady character that I have not been able to trust for almost a year. My thoughts could go on and on. So I have decided even after my fiancé has asked me to apologize that I will not. When he starts acting like an adult then I can attempt to be his friends but until then as it stands now. After the lease is up he is getting cut off.