VSBII Update I

Ok so I know its time for an official update.

Last Tuesday my car was towed again. Jason told me parking in an iffy spot was ok because he did it before. When we returned to my car, it was gone. I was sick the next day so I called out of work. When I made the call, I could barley talk. I knew I was getting sick all Tuesday I just didn’t feel myself. I had to spend the whole day at Jason’s house I had no money to take septa and my house keys were in my car. I had to wait for my last unemployment check to hit my account. Needles to say I dint hit until Friday because I filled something out wrong.
Thursday was the big day. My mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer. The solution was a mastectomy. It was scheduled for that Thursday. I washed the closes on my back and put them on again in the morning after taking a shower. The day was truly an off day for me. I left the house without my cell phone and my hair was beyond hope, not to mention I spent the whole day in the hospital with no money. Everyone showed up grandma, my two aunts, my uncle and my mom’s good friend Donna who drove us to the hospital.

After what felt like a century, the doctor came and told us everything went well and that she would soon be moved to recovery. We went to the next waiting room, a few hours more hours latter and me almost cursing out a nurse, we were allowed to see her two by two. My sister and I were first.

My mother groggy from the anesthesia did not hesitate to joke. “Did you see the truck that hit me?” I not being sure if she was joking or a little loopy from the anesthesia felt the need to tell her she wasn’t hit by a truck. She told me it was a joke. It was hard knowing what she just went through and I was sad but tried my best not to show it.

After everyone else went to see, her Donna and I were the last two it was my second time. My mom told the truck joke and Donna didn’t miss a beat. She went along and the two of them joked but I could see Donna wanted to cry.

Every day my sister and I go to see my mother and although she looks better each and every single time. It breaks my heart when I think about what she has gone through and how she will have to wait for scars to fade. I really do love my mother and I am really seeing her strength.
The day after the surgery, I had to call out of work because I received word, while I was trying to get my car before 9:30 am, she might have to go back into the OR. I stayed almost the whole day until my sister started falling asleep.
Saturday was my first day back to work and I had to face the music. I had been honest and my boss already knew what was going on. I explained to her and her boss the major details of why I had to call out. They were just concerned and wanted me to know that the understood and wanted to make sure we were all on the same page as I am in my first 90 days.
So now I am living back in Sharon Hill, my mom is currently in the hospital, I am trying to make everything revolve around my work schedule, and keep my sister inline. With all this running, I am tired and I still have to set her room up.

Today I met the guy my mother will be officially dating once her divorce goes through. I knew he was a good guy and from what my mom was telling me I knew I liked him. Although she described him in was that made him seem too good to be human, I tried my best to see what she really meant. I must admit physically he is not what I would have picked for her but he is a handsome man with a nice body. He has a great personality and the best feature of all. . . I can have a real conversation with him.

My love life is a little more complicated yet still existent if you can call it that. Damian had surgery on the 15th but being the G he is he is forcing a quick recovery. Jerry is making a point to remind me how much he misses me but every time I have time to talk to him, he is asleep or at work. I really need to tell him what is going on so it doesn’t seem like I am avoiding him.
However, I am technically single. And there are three guys I have a little crush on at work, not sure, if any of them are gay so I am not getting my hopes up, not to mention I work with them.
The past several days I have been, feeling really overwhelmed with emotion and needed someone who would listen to me. Out of all the people I know there was only one I knew I could really open up to. Jazz was busy with her life in NYC and her phone hardly works. I was angry with Jason and Gina, well she has her own issues and although she is a great listener, I would still need a little advice on how to deal.

Of all the people, I know Joshua is the one great listener. As I list all my best friends, I realize each one has a specialty. Josh s my soon to be best friend for his ability to be in touch with his emotions on such a level its downright annoying at times but it is also helps him see into others and relate as needed. And I was missing that so we are talking now. I haven’t poured out my heart and soul as I wanted to but I think its coming.