My blog is all about me and in some instances, my group of friends. I struggled to get my online presence out there but it was difficult to maintain my blog. I wanted it to go one way but my life was going another. I had to be honest with myself and evaluate what I honestly wanted for me and my life without considering the collateral damage.
For starters I want to get a degree in something and have a career. I thought maybe a writer of some kind or advertising or a combination of the two but my life did not work out the way I wanted. I was not given the opportunities as far as education financing goes to get the necessary degrees. So advertising was out but writing was still in. I soon learned that I liked the night life and everything about it, correction, I like the gay night life, I also thought about modeling but to get started it required to much financial investing I was also getting a little too old to be just starting. I looked younger than I really was which was working to my advantage but with the clock ticking it was a no go.
Then I realized that I could throw a hell of a party no matter what the budget was. All my friends complimented the food and asked for me to take note of important dates. Then I got into baking, then it was crocheting, then sewing, I was becoming Mr. Tommy Homemaker. I enjoyed leaning the dyeing Arts and having my friends admire me for my domestic skills, but a house husband I was not.
At the six month mark, MeTo and I moved in together and I soon lost my job. The loss of my job led to the loss of my car which meant I was stuck in Jersey unless I took the train and with no job it was quite expensive. My Gayborhood life was slowly dyeing and I was less recognized as I came far less often than I did in the past.
I had no choice but to be a house husband and work on my domestic skills. I threw the occasional party but my friends were a great distance away and only one of us had a car. Soon my food was more elaborate and my baked goods were enjoyed by everyone even myself. I was then told I should do something with the baking. I sat at my computer and started to write my own recipes.
One summer while vacationing with MeTo’s family, four of us decided to cook, MeTo, his brother, his brother’s boyfriend, and myself. Someone jokingly sad we could do a show called, “Four Gay Guys.” Which latter turned into us writing a book. I was put in charge as I had the most free time but I was the only one writing recipes, then MeTo started making contributions but the project ended there. But I figured I would not let what work had been done to go to waste and so I continued advancing my skills and working on my own cookbook.
It proved difficult when I realized cooking for the sake of cooking was expensive the project went on hold when I got a job working at Hollister and Panera. I soon learned that Retail was not for me and I quit Hollister. Panera was an odd schedule and it left me with little free time. Before I knew it however MeTo threw down an idea, Bethéa Pâtisserie. He wanted me to start my own baking business and I thought the idea was perfect. I figured it could grow from a home business to an actually bakery and then a Bakery Café. I had always wanted my mother to have her own bakery café but she seemed to lack the motivation.
I soon realized that New Jersey sucked on a whole other level, unlike my beloved Pennsylvania or even New York, New Jersey does not allow Cottage business, the production and selling of food made in a private residence.
I quit my job at Panra and tried to do things under the table but it was a no go. So I got a job at Barnes and Noble and decided I was going to go to school for Culinary arts. I had taken all the Wilton Decorating classes at Michael’s over the summer and could not find the money to go to The French Culinary Institute for Pastry arts so I figured I would start at the bottom and work my way up in such a way that after a certain point my career, I would take off like wild fire.
Things are in place for me to go to school this spring and there are parts of my life I need to address before I take any drastic measures. As it stands now I am engaged and living in Jersey and preparing to go to community college for Culinary arts management. I have a job at Barnes and Noble but I have not gotten hours for the past three weeks. I have been in my current relationship for two years.
With all of this said I have to evaluate where I have been, where I am going and where I would like to go. The most attractive part of my current situation is that I am experiencing things that I would not if things were different.
In an ideal situation I would have my driver license back and a car with a job that would allow me to afford, gas, insurance, rent, and some money to have fun with every now and then. I would also go to school for my dream job. I have decided that a Career in Pastry arts is in fact what I want. However my career is something that I don’t want to share, meaning I do not want to start a family business. I know that it sounds selfish but think about it, most people go to work and their work life is shared with only coworkers the people at home are part of a different world and I find this separation to be important on a productive level it allows me to feel that home and work are separate and there is no way that the two could become one even by accident.
Bethéa Pâtisserie is my future without a doubt but how am I going to get there? Where will Bethéa Pâtisserie be located? Those are questions that I have to keep in mind with every step towards my goal. Now I do want to eventually get married and I want more than anything to marry MeTo ergo, we are currently engaged.
MeTo is a country boy and I am a City Kid we are both hardcore and hate the suburbs. Its almost like he Is a fish and I am a bird. In order to be happy he needs the country, and I need the city.
I still dream of climbing the social ladder and think that the Gayborhood would be the perfect place to open Bethéa Pâtisserie. This however is an issue. How could I run a business in Philadelphia and have a life with my husband in upstate New York? The answerer of course is I can’t, not happily anyways.
So do I compromise and run a business in the country and live in the country? When am I supposed to be happy I mean my husband has what he wants and needs. His plan is to work in the suburbs and live in the country.
I like to play in the city and would be happy to live in the city. I like walking to the market or corner store, I like taking the buss to Center City to go shopping in order to save on parking, I even like sometimes taking the buss and train to work so I can read on the way. But in the country I have to drive everywhere I go. Now the fact that my Driver license is suspended is only a temporary hurdle as I will have it back soon enough.
Now I do enjoy driving but to be in a world where I have to drive is not my ideal situation. I also like to go to a club at the last minute, call my friends and meet one, two or more of them for a drink without having to make sleeping arrangements. City life and country life are way to different with a huge line in the middle called suburbs. What am I to do, I want to work and play in the city that is what I want, I don’t mind living in the country.
One solution to this is to have more than one house, this is what my in-laws, MeTo’s parents did. They both hated the city and my father in-law loved the country and so they bought a vacation home in the country, latter they moved out the city and into the suburbs and still had their house in the country. Now they all fell in love with the country and hated the suburbs and the city.
So MeTo and I decided that we would definitely have a country home, wherever MeTo wants that home to be is fine with me. Now our everyday home is another story and is still in discussion.
My dream home is huge with a large formal dining room a kitchen for a chef to be proud of, a closet that will house a large wardrobe, a bathroom with a tub large enough where a man of six foot two can soak comfortably, a large family room with high ceilings and a living room with white furniture and cherry wood tables. The basement will house an extravagant entertaining area complete with bar and pool table along with sitting area so guess can come over and enjoy movies, video games, and the Super Bowl, the other end will hose his train layout. Lastly my hubby and I need offices, my office will be large enough and equipped with the necessary accouterments for my crafts.
When I think about MeTo and my dream home it would be great to have it in the country but then what about the jobs that are paying for all this?
For the first time in my life I am learning that you cannot plan every detail of your future, something’s have to remain open ended. To be 100% honest I want that dream house with MeTo and two kids more than my career, so I guess I need to focus on the following.
I need to get my driver license, a car, my degree, a decent job and where ever I end up living I will simply have to adjust. Besides there are ways of becoming well known and being a big shot in the city. There is that cookbook I am working on and I could also write a book for men who like fashion crafts such as, sewing, knitting, crocheting, and I could even merge the two and become like Martha Stewart, I just won’t sell out to Kmart and Sears.
So this writing assignment has served its purpose I know what I want out of life more than anything. It has been two interesting years with more good times than bad and more exciting and happy memories than I could have wished for and I want more of the same. I would imagine that my struggle with Old me and New me is over. We have figured out what we want and are willing to sacrifice to get it there is a plan to become happy and maybe get a little fame along the way. My Goal, get the dream house but how am I going to do that?
So here it is, I am Vixc-B and I enjoy, B&W Photography, Baking, Cooking, Crocheting, Sewing, Writing, Reading, Listening to music, Dancing, Clubbing, hosting Parties, and taking care of my Fiancé,
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