What Am I Not Seeing

So it has been a crazy time with MeTo and I trying to figure the friend thing out, planning a sudden move, dealing with school, bills catching up, new job, new and old friends and the clash. I think maybe a recap is an order.

So its well known that I am in school for Culinary Arts and that my dream is to one day have my own bakery cafe. So I had no idea how much extra Books, supplies, and uniforms cost. I was hopping to have financial aid to pay for it all but an oversight on the part of an individual at my school cause me to have to wait. In the short version JR tried to comfort me and it was a good effort but I still became depressed and MeTo lent me the money to go to school. Then LAB lent me 310 for books and supplies and my buddy Matt gave me 100 as a gift. I just made it.

Then I decided I had had enough of Starbucks and all their bull shit and began looking for another job. I made the information known to customers and may began giving me their contact info to be a reference. However it was one customer in particular whom we will call Nate, told me to try his job at Serifina. Serifina is an Italian restaurant with a bakery cafe attached, Nate thought I would be better off there as a barista then at Starbucks, and so I went it. Little did I know that my recommendation was so high that the interview process was such a formality that I I was simply told to call back and get my training schedule.

I was so excited but when I sent JR the text saying I was in school and had a new job it was a few days b4 he hit me up. For some reason no matter what I tried he was distant. I focused on school and work and before I knew it I was not leaving Starbucks. So I had two jobs and more responsibility. But the sad part was the guy I was now ready to start dating was distant so I cut him out.

Then I get a text from him telling me he lost his job so I tried to be there for him and tried to call to talk to him and it was at the point everything we ever sad was now via text, when we used to talk at least every other day. This went on until I got a text from him saying he was seeing someone else. He was quite cold and did not show any concern for my feelings. My friends told me to just let it go.

Before I knew it I was smoking more than I ever did before, drinking more than I ever did before and eating less, some days I even vomited what little I drank. Everything was crashing down. I had to find a new place to live and the potential new roommates were all acting like ass holes. So I shut the world out. Thats when I saw who my rel friends were, Icon and Ivan. When ever I saw them they would sympathize with me and sometimes simply listen. They were there for me and they were concerned. It was see this that made me want to change a few things.

I decided to, quit smoking, do a detox get to my goal weight and then start working out. Of coarse having just been jilted I changed my hair too. I also decided to hold off on dating and get my mind and heart right along with my body.

A major player in all of this was Mr M. it was he that I called the night JR sent me those text and it was he that was there when I knew everyone else was at work or dealing with other things. We commiserated, advised and even pointed out some major flaws and one of mine that he pointed out that I hoped no one else saw, when I am in a relationship I conform instead of compromising. I try to be the person I think they want and not myself. Looks like M is a good friend who is willing to point out my flaws.