Vixc-B

It is amazing how quickly you can lose yourself. It is even more amazing when trying to figure out how you want to change you forget who you are and where you come from.

In the past 4 years I have been a lot of different people and lived in a few different places, each guy I date is more different than the last and I have had many different jobs.

When I look back at that 21 year old who just came out of the closet, I am comforted and scared. When I was 21 I swore I would never wear makeup, wear girls clothing, sleep around, or live my life for my man.

Well looks like I broke all my promises. I learned so much in the past few years. I learned how to put makeup on and still look like a boy. I learned how to wear girls clothes and look like a boy. While I have had a few partners no one can really call me a whore. Even when I was with MeTo I didnt really live my life for him but I did make some sacrifices that I should not have made.

Now here I am at 25 and trying to find out, “Who is Vixc B?” the comforting part about this is I have found that every friend I have is friends with me for the same reason, they have told me I am funny, creative, stylish, caring, honest and simply fun to be around. Well not much has changed since 21.

Now I have gained a few skills, Dancing, Crocheting, Cooking, Baking, Style, I know how to throw a hell of a party. I could not do any of the preceding when I came out the closet except maybe dance. In the acquisition of my skills and talents, the places I was in and the people I was with it seemed that I was loosing myself and adjusting to my environment. Well the funny part in all of this, Is that the other day I had the desire to sew something, then to bake something, I thought about sitting down to crochet and I realized that I learned all of the things I learned because when I wanted to learn as I child it was denied to me, now as an adult I had the means to learn and I did it.

The me at 21 was a deprived person, the person I am now is the person I was always ment to be. I am learning how to love me, the past, present, and future. I enjoy learning and I know what I want to learn and I am learning it. I set a plan and things are falling into place. I should relax and stop trying to make things happen because my friends like Vixc B and I like Vixc-B and I have had love and some day a real Man will love Vixc-B Romantically and deeply as someone should be loved.

Now to just quit smoking.