Happy Fucking Birthday

So December 16th is Mr. M's 26th Birthday. To celebrate we went out the night before. There was no agenda just an odd guest list. Mr. M, his roommate, our friend Catherine, the ex before me that we will refer to as Alpha, alpha's three friends, Catherin's boy friend, Matt and myself.

I borrowed money from my stepfather for gas and cell phone minutes and then went to the dollar tree to pick up a B-day card and maybe a little gift of humor. To my surprise, the second card I picked up was perfect and as I turned, there was a box filled with teddy bears of all different colors. I found a blue one, which is Mr. M's favorite color and checked out. I called to get the run down and with no agenda; I decided to just meet them there.

On my way, I had an interesting conversation with Mr. New York, the man who I was planning to date before Mr. MeTo. Mr. New York still seamed appealing but I knew Mr. MeTo was the one for me. We talked about his Friday plans, as he had to go back to NYC for a doctor appointment and holiday parties. I suggested I be his date. The parties were all work related and I figured it would be a good way to have myself seen, discus my photo shot, and to tie up some loose ends in Queens.

I decided I would call him back Wednesday after my second interview and would let him know if I could go. As I got onto King of Prussia road, I decided it would be a good idea to get off my cell phone. I arrived, filled out the card and just as I was getting out the car, I received a text message and a call asking where I was from the birthday boy.

Mr. M, his roommate, Matt and I all drove down to meet the others on South Street. A stop at one place to say hi to Catherin and pick a place and we were off to Fat Tuesdays. Anyone who is anyone knows about Philadelphia's South Street. It is the true melting point of the city. It is where LGBT meets republicans, black meets white, Drag queens mix with hookers and people who earn honest livings, and it is where everybody gets along with everybody. The street teams with people and cars to form an elongated miniature times square. That is on nights that aren't Mondays.

If it had not been for the Eagles game South Street would have been just like any other part of the city. I was poor so two-dollar bud lights were good enough for me, especially because I didn't want to get drunk. The night progressed well. Alpha and his friends showed up and everyone got along with everyone.

There were comments about Matt being a ribbed sex toy due to his sweater, Catherine played with Mr. M's nipples and Alpha's Bff said I reminded him of Noah, from Noah's ARC. I had heard it before, no surprise, but I was quick to point out I was taller, and lighter.

Before I knew it Alpha and I were playfully going at it, I have to admit I love a good banter, and banter we did while Catherine and her boyfriend really quarreled. Stories of drunken nights, puking and a trip to the hospital and I was all caught up on what I missed on this half while I was in NYC.

We moved to another bar and in the process, Mr. MeTo called me. I was so surprised, having thought he had gone to bed by the time I called. We chatted and I delighted in every word he said to me. I hadn’t felt the way I felt in quite awhile. Of course, I was out with friends and Alpha had an objection. So to shut him up and free my hands for payback I told Mr. MeTo I would talk to him later. I then put alpha in a chokehold, we ended up on the ground, and I got a hurt elbow. I realized we were on the ground like kids and immediately got up, both laughing.

Bar two was closing so on to bar three, which was quite a different crowd, straight and predominantly black ghetto folk. Alpha was pulled away by the birthday boy. Everyone saw it as an opportunity to ask what the deal was between the two of us. I was confused; did it appear to be something? I asked quite shocked what everyone meant.

Catherine responded by saying "the lovers' quarrel" it was odd coming from her as she and her boyfriend were fighting most of the night. I explained that we were just having a good time getting on each other's nerves. But I then thought, did I like him, I did think he was cute and he made a few references to taking off his shirt. I thought about the possibilities and then thought about Mr. MeTo and it was a no brainer.

Everyone returned to the table and it was evident that Mr. M was drunk. While Alpha and I quarreled for the hundredth time about shutting up Mr. M made the comment that if Alpha stopped talking I would follow. Mr. M then said, "He just likes to talk, that’s what I was trying to tell you in the bathroom." So apparently a normally quite me who is normally asked if I am ok when meeting new people for a lack of talking, and I who is almost never tells a story in full because Mr. M cuts me off likes to talk.

So I stopped talking and the rest of the party apparently did not enjoy it. It was typical drunk Mr. M behavior. I was around and he felt it a prime time to treat me like shit. All thoughts of ever getting back with him were gone. I had a flood of memories of how I would call to catch up and a drunk him would have nothing but negative things to say, when we dated he would critique some of the most petty things and the night he decided to have a heart to heart with my best friend he made a point to point out all the things he did not like about me.

I realized that this alcoholic had beef with me. A tall and good looking me then began to play his game I made it look like I was interested the rest of the night mixing my banter and "lovers' quarrel" with kind words and signs of interest towards the person that was described as Mr. M's Mr. Big. I had a strong feeling that he was not happy as he did not talk to me for the rest of the night and kept giving his look of disproval. I had seen it before and he only got away with it this time because it was his birthday.

Alpha's best friend made a point to drill me on the topic of why I was not interested in Alpha, to be honest I kind of was but I liked someone else more.

When we got back to the apartment, I could see that the games had begun. Why I participated, I have no idea but nonetheless I did. I hated seeing Mr. M getting along with his ex and further more Mr. M was supposed to be back with his most recent ex. It was made quite clear that Mr. M did not want there to be any way of his two exes hooking up. He let Alpha go far but not too far, far enough to keep his hands off me but not to the point of getting together.

Everyone went out for food and Alpha decided to pay. I went to the hall to explain the situation to Jason via phone and I was told to leave like a grown up and stop playing games. Mr. M won despite the fact I stayed. Or it would appear that way.

The roommate may have been trying to hint at the fact that the birthday boy and alpha we going to have sex and I may not want to be around to hear it. He told me about an ice storm that was coming in the early morning. He then decided who slept where and I who always slept with Mr. M was now sleeping on the floor of the living room.

I pretended to sleep while Mr. M and Alpha discussed relationships and the past. I knowing Mr. M so well knew the two were going to have sex. The moment I heard the bedroom door close my heart started pounding. I was not ready to hear such a thing take place. I don’t know why but I snuck out and ran down the hall to the elevator. I made up in my mind it was time to just cut Mr. M out of my life.

Someone who drinks to feel better than puts me down, Someone who says they value my friendship but never acts like it, someone who knows how I feel yet shows now respect for that and has taken advantage of it. Despite all my efforts and hopes for the best Mr. M has not changed. I learned he was one of those fags that likes drama and will always be surrounded by it. And when he does not have enough in his life, he dates those who do.

To Mr. M, I know you, I got you pegged and at 26, you are not changing but happy fucking birthday you lost a friend and one of the few guys who treated you like a human.