A Recent Discovery

Most recently I have experienced how holding back ones negative feelings can jeopardize even the most solid of relationships. If your like me then you can relate to the fear of having a relationship define who you are or even have it appear that way. For MeTo and I it did start to appear that way and I kept my mouth shut. With that and the combination of all the other things that he dose to annoy me it began to manifest its self in our sex life. Yes things did go south when I had to deal with my UTI and the side effects of my medication but even after all was said and done I began to wonder why I did not want to have sex the way I once did.

After several conversations with friends and remedies to treat the problems and not the cause I decided to let sleeping dogs lie and that was the wrong thing to do.

I told MeTo what I thought the problem was and after a while I began to believe it until I decided to do a test.

Now that we have decided to move in together I needed to be sure I was ready. So the test I concocted was simple I would live with him in his dorm for two weeks. If I could handle living in his dorm then I could handle living in an apartment.

Needles to say it got cramped and after awhile I didn't want him touching me so much or leaving certain decisions up to me. I wrote a nasty blog about it (unpasted) and began to feel slightly better except the problems were still there and i felt like I was not a 100% sure of the cause. I thought a night of drinking would do the trick, I would get supper drunk want to have sex again and things would return to normal.

I drank and drank and he took me out for a walk and got me to open up. The things I said were the same as in my blog but it caused concern for the both of us so that morning we talked again and I figured out the real problem it was not his indecisiveness at times or the excessive cuddling it was the fact that I was not being myself and hanging out with my friends I was allowing the relationship to dictate who I was instead of allow the relationship to simply become a part of my life.

After that break through I became extremely aroused and we made love. Then I went to spend time with friends and family and he went to hang with his family.

Then when I got back to the man of my dreams he had a new hair cut and looked sexier then ever. Needles to say we cuddle and “color” more then we have ever did before.