Searching for that Damn Book!

Book,Shopping,Shoes,Gay,Life

Today turned out to be a productive day for me.  I got up earlier that normal which is a huge plus.  MeTo had a presentation at work and I could not sleep after he left, I offered to cook breakfast and no matter how much I insisted he refused.

After I got up I got on my computer and checked my email, much to my surprise dsw.com was have a 50% off sale on all clearance items. I found two perfect pairs of shoes after what felt like two hours of searching.  Placed my order and then cooked myself breakfast. I ate while watching the view and decided that I needed to get out of the house. I began thinking about when I was going to go and what I would do when I got there. Therefore, while waiting for my soaps to come on I did some more browsing and decided that I would go to Barns & Noble.

I have been on the search for a good gay book to read.  I did not want one that was smutty of dramatic or simply by a gay author I wanted something I could relate too.  I looked all over on line and found only one title that interested me before I just decided to give up.  The book was called Naked and did not seem to be about anything gay so reserved a copy to be picked up from the store.

After my soaps, I got dressed as fast as possible and called a cab.  I did my makeup fully for the first time all 2010.  I was feeling good new hair, cool outfit, and makeup.  All I needed was a pedicure and a manicure and I would be unstoppable.

At the bookstore, I got a frappachino and decided to brows.  I looked at everything from music and movies to the bargain rack.  I finally found the gay and lesbian section and to my surprise, I found the perfect book, Swish.  I have not read it yet but by the end of the month expect a full review of it.

My new year’s resolution is to read at least one book a month and write a review on it.  I already have several brand new books on my shelf but I wanted my first to be on a gay book.  So expect that I guess in about 15 days.

Lastly, I also found a magazine that every gay man should read, Winq.  It is cheaper to buy in the store than to subscribe but it is totally awesome and full of international gay stuff.  Cannot really go into detail as each issue covers different stuff but for 8 bucks it is so worth it.

My plan for the evening is to do my nails, read my magazine then start on my book. Somewhere in there, I hope to go out, do some food shopping, and then break in my new tart pans.  Until next time, keep life interesting.

A Few Thoughts for January

househusband,January,Birthday,Resturant

Therefore, it has been one official year with MeTo and my life has changed a lot.  Sometimes I stop and wonder how things might be different if I had never met the man of my dreams so early in my gay life. It amazes me how a single moment can change your life forever.  I could have ignored that message that I got and then would have never known what I was missing and continued with my life in Philly.  I would have still probably got that job at Traction and maybe moved to Bensalem, but all the while still out looking for Mr. Right not knowing that I passed him up.

Today I spoke with my BFF Jay; it is amazing how talking to him puts me in an even better mood no matter what.  The other day when I went to see him and gave him Christmas present, a scarf that I crocheted, he was thrilled and I was so happy that he not only liked it but also appreciated it.  We talk and sometimes it seems that we are losing friends left and right but no matter how far we seem to get away from each other a phone call brings us not only back to where we should be but closer.

Last Friday was my mother’s birthday and I am happy to say that she said it was one of the best birthday’s ever.  I came from NJ to take her out to lunch with my sister.  We ended up going to her friend’s cafe where friends and good food surrounded her.  There was no check but all had a good time.  My mother loved the calendar I brought her and the mugs.

The next day I gave my stepfather his present that I forgot to bring down on Christmas and he loved it, it was a Chinese peasant clock and being a clock collector, he was thrilled.

This past Saturday MeTo and I met his brother boyfriend’s parents at a restaurant in Manhattan.  The restaurant was Rolfs and I was told that to sit in it was like sitting in a Christmas tree.  With exception of the company and decorations, the place was far from worth what we paid to eat there.  The wait staff and management were rude and the food was dry and left a lot to be desired.  I had similar food in a restaurant in Philadelphia where to my surprise the staff dressed in German garb and were extremely nice and the food was amazing.  I expected to have similar food here and was disappointed. It is safe to say that this was the first and last time that I travel to Manhattan just to go out to dinner.

I am finding that my January is quite busy.  The Saturday after going out to dinner I thought that I was going to spend that Sunday taking down the Christmas decorations but I went to MeTo’s aunt’s house where she did her very best not only to make me feel welcome but to ensure that all her guest had a good time.  This was only the second time that I seen the woman and she has proven that she not only has a huge heart but also is a fun loving individual.  Every urn I make it looks like I just fall deeper and deeper in love with not only MeTo but also his entire family including their dog, which I do not think is really a dog, but a completely new breed of awesome animal.

So Monday was MeTo and my one year anniversary, no more monthaversarys here on out.  We are celebrating in Philadelphia this Friday and it looks like it will be a good time. I have decided to stay in the city to hang out with friends on Saturday and then go with my family to drop my sister off to college on Sunday. I mean it when I say this is the last trip to Philly for the rest of the month, its hitting my pockets heard.

In the mean time I am looking for a job, I need to get out of the house on a regular basis and another reason to get up in the morning aside from cooking MeTo breakfast or to watch the view.  Being a househusband is great but only for a little while.  I now truly understand Susan B Anthony, it was not because she hated her husband that she started the fight that she did, she was bored as hell.

Happy Healthy New Yeear

New Year,Holiday,Love,Friends,Recap,2009

It has been one whole year and things although not I would want them to be, are great. It has been over a year since I met MeTo and that whole incident with Mr. New York.  The blog as well as my life has had its difficulties this year as well as all my friends.

Around the new year Jay and I kind of fell out because I my shift in where and who I was devoting my time in. Phil was still being Phil and Louise was having fun with his new boy toy, which actually looked more like a girl.

After I stopped working for Vincent It was not long before I found a job that promised to let me use my creativity. MeTo and I became official January 11th and my January ended great. The rest of the year chugged on and before I knew it, it was my birthday.  Jay and I had made up and we even closer than before.  Things were going great I knew who my really friends were and I had a man in my life that cared about me so much that he threw me a surprise birthday party.  The Lady GaGa concert that was supposed to take place on my birthday moved to a whole month later.

The job that promised to allow me to be creative proved to be a waste of my time and their money but I decided to stick with it. But it was not long before I spent a lot of free time looking for a new one. MeTo and I were quite hot and heavy I spent most weekends with him and I was not only in love with him but I began to fall for his entire family including their dog, and I do not even like dogs.

When June rolled around it proved to be the beginning to quite a trying summer.  MeTo and I moved in together and with bed buying box moving and living in clutter we had our first big fight. We made up and got things under control.

Jay was having a hard time with life in general and I could tell it was quite bad but what remained a mystery to all of us until one day while at work I got a call from him and he told that he was HIV positive. I left work and ran to be with him during his time of need I was shocked that I could not think of that pep talk you all ways hear about of people getting. I called MeTo and he gave me the talk. It was the first time he heard me cry.

A few weeks I lost my job with no explanation.  Then I was denied unemployment and before I knew it my finical past came to bite me in the ass I lost my car and had to tell MeTo the extent of debt I was in.  it was a poor summer for me and before I knew it I was smoking again. The stress built and built until one night I just broke down and shared all my secrets on the web.

August came and the highlight was the surprise I and another friend threw for Jay. It brightened his year. The surprise party went great with only a few snares. MeTo was not feeling all too well so we went home right after.

Shortly after that, I lost my car due to lack of income things seemed to just get worse at each turn. It started to take a toll on my relationship but before I knew it MeTo parents gave him some advice for the both of us. It showed me that they really liked me as a person and thought I was a good fit for MeTo.

Soon it was September and we began celebrating the high holy holidays of Judaism. I began learning a lot about what it meant to be a Jew and even how to make a few more dishes that are Jewish.  And MeTo’s family was beginning to feel like my family.

I eventually had my hearing for my unemployment and won, It was great and by the close of the month I had my own income again.

October came and I am not sure if it was the changing seasons of me not working but MeTo and my relationship took quite a drastic turn. I ended up going to Philly for a week by my self to clear my head whiles he, our roommate and his girlfriend were here doing their own thing. Despite the fact I wanted to hang more with my roommate’s girlfriend I needed time along to get my head in order.

By the Friday of that week MeTo played me a visit and we discussed what steps needed to be taken to repair the problems in our relationship which turned into an all nighter of club hopping in what appeared to be a dead gayborhood. We then crashed at my friend Kim’s house.

When he went home the next afternoon I was still not feeling 100% but a phone call later and the recitation of an old love letter I wrote quickly reminded me that although I was stressed and acting funny my feeling for him were just as strong if not stronger. I could not wait to get back to him.

The rest of the year chugged on and the best part of thanks giving was his family, it was so great that we spent the whole week between Christmas and New Year upstate all of us together. It was the happiest new year I have ever had.

MeTo and I have known each other for well over a year and have made far to memories to recap in one post. I have found what it is like to be truly unconditionally loved. It gives me great joy to say, “I can’t wait to see what 2010, will bring.”

Heads Up and Happy Holidays

There have been practically no post for the month of December. This was sort of done on purpose. I have been writing but taking my time doing so to provide better thought out post with clear grammar and no spelling errs.

Lots has happened this month from celebrating Hanukkah for the first time to the long prep for Christmas. I have loved every bit of December and there is a lot to write about.  I have finally started receiving my GQ and Details magazines and the cookbook is getting many new recopies added to it.

I have not spoken to my mother as much as she would like and I have a feeling that soon I will have to tell her that my life is too connected to MeTo’s for me to continue acting like my Indigo Life does not Exist.

Nevertheless, check back soon for my review of 2009 where I will summarize not just my life but, Jay’s, Phil’s, RJ’s, Lou’s and all the people that cross our paths and keep us connected.

To all my devoted readers I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

We’re in Love

Recently I have noticed that there are few post explaining the love that I have for MeTo, well this will be more like a post about the love we have fore each other, because it is hard to understand how the relationship works from only one side.

The night before I thanksgiving MeTo and I went to Philly for the Pink Pub Crawl. The first stop was my grandmother’s; we both enjoyed spending time with her and my aunt.  She was so happy to see him that she made it quite clear that when I came to visit he was welcomed as well. Later we went to the pub-crawl, which you will have to read about latter.

The night of thanksgiving I went back to my grandmother’s to pick up the stuff that I left the night of the pub-crawl.  When I got there, I was so anxious to get back to MeTo that I ran to the bus and then called to see if I was going to make my train, and much to chagrin I was not.  Therefore, I went back to my grandmother’s and spent the night.  In the morning, my aunt decided she was going, to give me a ride to 30th Street train station and I was surprised at what she had to tell me.

She looked at me and told me that it was evident that MeTo and I loved each other. I was shocked and hearing that, not because it was in accurate jut that I thought I was doing a good job of not being all lovie dovey around her and my grandmother.  I asked how she knew and she told me it was in the way we looked at each other and talked to each other.  I was still surprised that she saw all she saw.

I thought about this part of our chat for awhile and just recently realized that no matter how hard I try there are just some things you cannot hide from certain people.  MeTo and I have had our fair share of bad times but our good times are far more often and far bigger than our bad ones.  We have made so many great memories going upstate to be with his family, going to the movies, out to dinner, cooking together, talking about our future, decorating and all the many other happy things that couples do. 

So many times, we have done things like cleaning together and realized that with anyone else, it would have been a real chore, but together it was a fun task that we look forward to doing again together.

Our only really fight is about who loves whom more, and who is more attractive.  I always say he is cutter and I love him more and he thinks the opposite.  However, like all of our argument we respectfully agree to disagree and go on to loving each other.

My point to tall of this is one thing, my relationship with MeTo may be broadcast on here as having lots of troubles and uncertainties but all in all I am head over heels for the man I am in love with. He makes me happy and he makes a point to tell me that he loves the little things like me cooking him dinner, baking him a desert, cleaning the house, or listening to him talk about the good the bad and ugly of his day.  All of which are thing I enjoy to do for him and are no burden to me but the mean a lot to him. In addition, all the little things he does for me among some huge ones such as being there when I lost my job and holding down the fort until my unemployment kicked in.

To know if you truly love someone, examine your relationship and when the small things mean far more than the big things that is when you know for sure.  To see him breathing and smiling is far better than him buying me a gift and I know if to see him smile is all I get from him for the rest of my life than I will live I heaven for the rest of my earthly days.

AWESOME ! ! !

It Takes a Love Letter (Missing Week Pt.2)

MeTo and I had dinner Friday night to talk about the necessary steps we were going to take in order to save our relationship. It was not that we were in danger of breaking up but we had got to a point where we both realized things had to change for both our sanities’ sake.

We met on South Street and had a nice dinner at a German restaurant; it was the first time I went to a restaurant of that type.  The food was great but the conversation was not filled with cool hot topics.  We talked about every aspect of our relationship and what we could do to repair it. The conversation lasted the entire dinner.

I have to admit I did meet him with a little contempt I was not happy that he insisted on dealing with this now.  But the end of our conversation I did feel we were on the road to progress.  He got to know me a little better and I found out how he felt about me a little better.

We latter decided to grab a drink from Q lounge, I was dying to see what the new placed looked like.  It was clear that he was feeling better about the situation but I was still not in the mood to be all lovey dovey.  As the night progressed so did the time and b4 we knew it was too late for him to get back home safely.

I called Kim to see if we could crash at her place and I got her voice mail, so I sent her a text.  To my surprise, she called me while we were in 12 Air and I explained to her what was going on and she was in the city and decided to come pick us up.

Kim and MeTo hit it off and I was happy that they seemed to get along really well.  We chatted for a little bit once we got to her house then I just passed out. In the morning, she and her new roommate had to go to a meeting.  While they were out MeTo and I relaxed and got a little touchy, feely I was not in the mood but I pretended to be for his sake.

He later wanted to go out to eat so I texted Kim and asked if she and her roommate wanted to go to Denny’s she told me that we would all go to this other one that she liked a lot.  The dinner was cool and the food was excellent.  I was shocked to see that all she ordered was oatmeal. She then dropped us off at the Chester transportation center where MeTo and I took the R2.  I got off at my stop and he continued to center city so he could go back home.

I was somewhat happy to see him go.  I needed time to digest what we talked about and for him to show me he meant what he said.

I got to my mom’s and watched a movie with her and my step dad.  The rest of the day just went slow and I packed to go to my grandmother’s.  The next day I was going with them to my father’s grace to pay respects for his birthday.  I thought it stupid but I went to make my grandmother happy.

I got to my grandmother’s just as my aunt was leaving for work and we all chatted for a brief stent. I then went to watch TV.  While I was watching MeTo called and decided to read me a love letter that I had written him, it was the one I wrote after he threw me the surprise party.  When he finished reading I remembered the feelings I had when I wrote it and was reminded how much he still means to me, more today than yesterday.  I finally started to miss him as I was supposed to be.  After watching two and a half movies, I called it a night and went to bed.  I hated the fact that he was not there for me to cuddle with.  It took a while but I went to sleep.

The next morning I was dressed and left with my family for the long drive to my father’s cemetery.  Immediately after getting back, I had my aunt take me to the EL and I was on my way back to MeTo a day early. On the first of November.  

The Missing Week

Many blogs got started the week that I took off but few were finished.  After having finished a huge redesign of TIL I decided to take a break from blogging, it just so happened to coincide with my relationship issues.

From my last real post, it is safe for one deduce that I had a lot of thinking to do, mostly about what I wanted currently in my life. 

MeTo walked me to the train, we chatted while waiting, and once on, I was surprised at how much I missed him.  The idea of not seeing him whenever I wanted made my heart sink.  I had told MeTo to just let me be and not to call me until I called him.  He was being extremely patient and understanding, he even gave me money to spend while I was hanging out with my friends.  He set the rules by saying this, “You can look but don’t touch, you can flirt but don’t go home, and if you get them to buy you a drink I want to hear about it because you’re saving me money.”  I laughed and agreed.

My first stop once getting into Philadelphia was my mother’s job. I figured I would put my stuff in her car and then figure out where I would go next. Much to my surprise, we spent a lot of time talking about end of the world type stuff and religion.  We did not argue or debate but shared views and used each other to gain a better understanding of current events and scriptures.  We talked about other stuff as well and it was nice to, just talk to my mother like back in the day.

After leaving my mom, I decided to; just go to my mom’s house, once I was from underground on the El I called my aunt to see what she was up to and if she was up for a visit.  Needles to say she was and I spent most of my Friday chatting it up with my grandmother and aunt.

A lot of the conversation with my aunt was spent talking about Mr. MeTo and how I was feeling about him and our relationship.  I was surprised that I figured out that not only did I know where my life was going but also it was going where I wanted it to go.

When I got home that night, I talked to my mother about her night and hoped she would tell me about how she made new connections. It was a short conversation that ended with her telling me how she had fun and that was about it.  As soon as I was alone in the middle room, I called MeTo.  He was shocked to hear from me and I explained to him that I missed him as soon as the train started taking off.  It was a brief conversation, as I had to get ready for my hearing the next day and he had stuff to do in the lab.

The next day I got up and hurried to my hearing for unemployment. It was a stressful long ride and it happened to be raining.  I was dressed nice and as luck would have it missed the train that would have gotten me there on time.  I called and I was told that word would be passed but no guaranties.

A train ride bottle of coke a phone conversation with Jay and a bus ride later, I made it to be only 20 min late.  I walked inside and much to my surprise when I walked into the room; there was no one from traction.  I was slightly pissed.  This was just a mean way of them trying to save a buck.  To add insult to injury they even had a nerve to had submitted crappy evidence.  I won my case hands down.

On the way out, I chatted with the referee who was nice and she told me she was ruling in my favor and would try to get things to move quickly.

MeTo called as I was waiting for my bus and I told him I won but had bad reception and would call him latter.  A bus ride, a long wait, a train ride, a conversation with Jay, an el ride and two soft pretzels I was finally back in Delco and in a car with Jay.

It was the first night of the World Series and we were headed to our friend Sam’s.  On the way, I get to see Erica, the same one that introduced me to jay and I had not seen since.  Once at Sam’s, we watched harry potter, drank ginger ale and passed one Dutch for each point the Philly’s got.  Needles to say it was the highest I had ever gotten.  First chance I got I went home and slept it off.

The rest of the week was boring with a few sad attempts at trying to write. I decided to go see my aunt and grandmother again and on my way, I forced to deal with the one thing I had been trying to deal with on my own and in my own way, my relationship with MeTo.

He sent me a text telling me something along the lines of how we would be fine, it read dramatic and the situation needed us not to be so dramatic.

The first thing I said to my aunt when I got to her house was, “I might have to breakup with ‘MeTo’.” Her reaction was don’t and then she asked why.  I gave her the rundown of what we were dealing with, how I felt about it, how I wanted to deal with it and how he was dealing with it.  We talked in detail over the night and she gave me some sound advice and of course like everyone that has met MeTo told me to stay with him.

To be honest while I entertained the thought and may have made my mouth move to speak the words, breaking up was never an option in my mind or heart. Just as I, my aunt went up stairs for a moment my phone rang.  It was MeTo and he told me he was coming to Philly so we could discuss things.  I had just made y mind that I would be coming home Sunday and as soon as I got back I would discuss everything with him.  However, as he was telling me and not really asking I just went along.

I remember feeling slightly angry, how dare he come down and put a halt to my me time.  I needed this week to get my head together.  Yet I still allowed it.  I made up some excuse as to why I had to get off the phone and told m aunt what had just happened.  She thought to be a good idea and asked what I thought I had to admit she was right, I have to hand it to aunt LAB she has a way of making me see the light.

I went home, laid out my outfit for Friday, and chatted with my mother.  I got on my laptop and began to try and writ again but the week proved that it was pointless.  I would either be interrupted when my phone would ring or my emotions get the best of me and I would slip into LaLa land.  So ended up surfing the net until the early morning when I just fell asleep.

I spent most of Friday chatting with my sister and reminiscing about the times when it was nice to shut out the world and just be not only her big brother but also her best friend.  I went to get ready and just as I was about to head out the door my mother got home from work and she noticed I had on makeup.  I tried to half lie but she refused to let me out the house.  It was all in fun but it was still a little annoying.

I got of the El in CC at 6:30 but MeTo had been waiting for almost a half hour as he got to Philly earlier than he thought.  We decided on a German restaurant and while the food was great, the conversation was a little strong for my taste.  We did come to a better understanding of each other and all issues were dealt with.

(To Be Continued. . . )

Rate Your Friends Looks !!!

It goes by what grade you'r in because of ur looks
kindergarten- OMG put a bag over your head
1st-borrow the kindergarteners bag but u can put a hole for your eyes
2nd-you get a bag on the head, with holes for the eyes and the mouth
3rd- no bag for u, just stay on the other side of the room
4th-go where you please... just don't talk to me
5th-ok you can say hi..thats it
6th-whats your name...ok bye
7th-hi im josh
8th-what you doin 2nite??
9th- how about the movies
10th-dinner and a movie??
11th-walk on the beach
12th-my place?? leave b4 i wake up
college-my place,,, and u can stay for breakfast
masters degree-lets do it right here right now!!!!

Sweet

A Phone Call

phone call,relationship,MeTo,Vixc b,Philly,aunt LAB

So, MeTo called me and wanted to discuss our relationship, rather to tell me that he was coming down the next day so we could go out and talk about us.  I was shocked to see that he was the one calling me.  To be very honest I did not want to talk to him, especially after what happened earlier.

While I was on the trolley to go see my aunt, MeTo called me.  I was shocked to see it was he and answered, he told me he wanted to talk.  When I asked about what he was very vague and said, “Stuff.”  I tried to get him to be more specific.  He began talking about our relationship.  I thought to myself, “I thought we both agreed, this week was about me.”

I could never understand why he could not just let me be, leave our relationship alone until I got back from dealing with me.  When I got to my aunt, I told her about what was going on.  She was very understanding much to my surprise and she was able to see things from both perspectives.  She enforced what I was thinking about MeTo and, she helped me to see what I was feeling.

Her suggestion was to talk about everything with him and get on the same page.  I must admit everyone I talk to dose not want the two of us to break up.  I was considering calling it quits but she told me not to just yet and no matter how bad I make the situation seem everyone tells me to hang in there.

So tomorrow me to and I will have dinner to hash things out.  I had wanted the entire week to be a me week.  One where I could gain perspective on the situation, how I was feeling and what I wanted.

I did figure out that I am smarter when it comes to relationships than I thought and I do have a greater plane for my life than I had imagined.  I realized all of this while talking to my aunt.  She learned from me and me her despite the serious age difference.  However, that goes to show you that you are never too old and never too young to teach and to learn.

Interesting.

Hot Song Creepy Video.

Kandi : Fly Above Lyrics

Verse 1
I’m so comfortable in the skin I’m in, I’m secure about who I am, so you go ahead and talk all you wanna, I built up a shell and it’s hard and it’s armored. It seems like every step I take up, drama comes along with the bread I cake up. But you aint doing nothin if you don’t have haters, so I welcome you to do what’s in your nature.
Hook
I’m like a jet airplane, way too high to hear you throwing salt on my name. I know I’m not the only one if people love to hate you go and throw your hands up go ahead and spread your wings cuz you gotta fly above.
Chorus
I fly above all the drama, I I fly above, I I fly above, I I fly above, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me. So I fly above all the haters, I I fly above, I I fly above, I I fly above, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me
Verse 2
If everybody hatin’ cuz you fly-i-i, then gon throw yo hands in the sky-i-i, if people jealous cuz you live yo li-i-ife, then gon throw yo hands in the sky-i-i, see I aint even worried bout you and your insecurities, the only thing that matters is my family and G.O.D. I’m a shooting star but my feet still on the ground and when you flying high people wanna shoot you down
Hook
I’m like a jet airplane, I’m way too high to hear you throwing salt on my name. I know I’m not the only one if people love to hate you go and throw your hands up go ahead and spread your wings cuz you gotta fly above.
Chorus
I fly above all the drama, I I fly above, I I fly above, I I fly above, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me. So I fly above all the haters, I I fly above, I I fly above, I I fly above, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me
Bridge
All you haters (haters), you’re the wind beneath my wings (wind beneath my wings), you just make me fly higher (higher), higher (higher), higher, ooh you just make me fly higher, make me fly higher, make me fly higher
Hook
I’m like a jet airplane, way too high to hear you throwing salt on my name. I know I’m not the only one if people love to hate you gon and throw your hands up go ahead and spread your wings cuz you gotta fly above.
Chorus
I fly above all the drama, I I fly above, I I fly above, I I fly above, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me. So I fly above all the haters, I I fly above, I I fly above, I I fly above, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me, it’s beneath me

I am about to hey my hair twisted.
-Vixc B-

New (Gross) Study: Most Men Don't Wash Hands After Bathroom - BY L. K. REGAN

PUBLISHED OCT 30, 2009

Here's some news that will make you think twice about the casual handshake: British researchers have found that less than a third of men wash their hands after using the toilet. In these days of swine flu pandemic, that's a pretty scary statistic. Worse yet, the researchers found there are few ways to persuade guys to clean up their act.

The British study, published in the American Journal of Public Health, depended on a devilishly simple design: place sensors in bathrooms at service stations on British highways. These sensors were set to survey the water-and-soap behavior of the quarter of a million or so people who came through in the course of 32 days of observation. The researchers were hoping to find that people dutifully scrub their hands with soap after each visit—since, as the study authors write, "Hand-washing with soap has been ranked the most cost-effective intervention for the worldwide control of disease." In fact, if people would wash regularly with soap and water, over a million deaths from diarrheal diseases per year might be prevented. And that's not to mention that the CDC recommends hand washing as one of the most effective ways of slowing the spread of the swine flu pandemic.

Sadly, the study's results were not particularly auspicious. Less than a third of the men and two-thirds of the women who passed through the bathrooms during the study washed their hands with soap and water after using the toilet. So, researchers tried presenting bathroom users with a variety of messages to try to impact those statistics, and find out what motivates people to wash up. Electronic message boards at the bathroom entrances flashed a variety of hand-washing warnings, allowing the researchers to see which messages impacted behavior within the bathroom.

The messages showed a full range of approaches to hand-washing. Some were gentle reminders of the facts of hygiene; for instance, "Water doesn't kill germs, soap does." Others were more, well, explicit—for example, "Don't take the loo with you—wash with soap." Men and women differed in their behavioral responses to the messages. Women reacted best to the basic reminders that they ought to wash. Men, however, responded best to the gross-out effect, with messages like, "Soap it off or eat it later."

Not surprisingly, the most effective message overall involved shame and peer pressure. "Is the person next to you washing with soap?", when flashed on the board, got 12 percent more hand washing out of men and 11 percent more from the women. So the next time you're in the bathroom, wash your hands with soap and warm water (rubbing the soap into your hands for long enough to sing the alphabet through twice—that's about 20 seconds). It's the best thing you can do today for your own health and that of everyone you encounter through the day. And if the guy next to you isn't using soap, make sure he sees you staring!

Don’t Cross Vixc B

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Today I brought back to life an old project that I once wanted to work on a few years ago. I was shocked to find that the project required me to talk about my ex Mr. M. I am not sure but I have a strong feeling that he is still vaguely in my life for a reason.  Sure he is almost 3000 miles away and we hardly ever talk to each other. I read his blog every now and then because it makes me feel great to know that while my life is going in a positive direction he is having trouble finding a job just lost the man who he thought was the love of his life after he gave him hell and is sad to be miles away from all he knows.

I know it is not the Christian way but it’s the human condition. In the process of writing about my past I realized that I still don’t have an answer to an important question. When he broke up with me he could not leave it at just that he asked if we could still be friends. To be exact he said, “I would like it if we could still be friends.”

I to this day cannot make since of it. He and I had nothing in common. We lived 2 hours away from each other, I was a light drinker, light smoker and preferred to keep drugs out of my life.  He took pride in the fact he was a heavy drinker, he liked smoking and did pot, he took pills and liked to dress as a fairy every now and then. I used British slang and he hated it. He was the tit for tat type of guy and was the all is fare in love and war. He welcomed dram and I cut drama queens out my life. So why stay friend with me?

I picked up my phone and before I knew it I was on the second ring. I realized that this was a very bad Idea. Before he had made a trip to Philly we were talking frequently and decided to make a point to hang out. As the day neared I got no call and have not heard from him since. After the bad blog I wrote calling him ever negative gay name in the book. He wrote me a letter which stated between the lines that he only wanted to be friends when it was convent for him. It hurt to imagine that someone would imply that but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and his actions or lack thereof proved it.

I want to cut him out my life, but I feel some kind of attachment to him. I know he was my first official love and all but at some point a person should feel the need to let go. I just don’t understand and I guess I still want answers to questions that only he can answer.

I am a real friend and all my friends agree. If you ask me for advice I tell you what you need to hear, not want to hear. If you need me for something I am there, if I can help you out I will and there has not been a person I have ever called friend that I have not done that for.

Mr. M keeps me at a distance, no matter how much I let him in he refuses to be my real friend. I have done things for him and they remain unreturned, I have given him advice only to have him respond negatively when I came to him. To be honest I think I just may hate him and want to inflict my own damage upon him. No matter how bad things in his life get they are not as bad as I want them to be. Maybe if I ran him over in a car, or stabbed him, they seem like good ideas but that hurts him physically and I want to hurt him emotionally. When I found out what happened to him and Joe I felt it was not good enough.  I want him to either realize the effect of his actions on me and truly apologize or to suffer.

That’s just it, and I refuse to cut him out my life until justice is served. I want Karma or Vixc B to do its best and worse in his life and I want him to realize it to late.  

 

Where is My Life Going?

life,relationships,sex,gay,happiness,Philadelphia,Vixc B

If you were to ask me a week ago my plan for my life I would have been more than happy to tell you. I would have confidently opened my mouth and gave you a nice little run down of my plans and what I was doing in the present to accomplish them. Now I am in a state of I don’t know. This has happened before but that was always when something didn’t work out, like moving, or losing a friend or getting my heart broken. But nothing has changed, I have all my friends, my boyfriend, my family and I am still living in the same apartment.

So what is new, what has changed? For the past few days I have not wanted to have sex with Mr. MeTo. At first I thought it was a dream I had about having sex with a woman. I will not lie I enjoyed it in the dream and it did excite me. I thought maybe I was going through a bisexual moment that would pass but when I went to check my A4A account and saw the ads for gay porn I knew that was not the case.

I do not want to cheat on Mr. MeTo I just want some time that is sex free. No pressure to have sex, him not asking me for sex I just want my body to have a break.

I recently talked to jay and he is convinced that the illuminati is bringing about the end of the world and that Obama is the anti Christ. While I do believe in the anti Christ and the end of days my beliefs are based on one thing and that is the bible and my faith in G-d. His is based on conspiracy videos and the fact that many of them link up with different religions claims to the end of the world.

I did my research and while I do believe that the events for the end of day have been set in motion, I cannot get in a twist and start shouting, “The end of the world is coming.” What good would that cause? That’s like being told you’re going to die and there is nothing you can do about it. Now I do feel that a warning is necessary if evil rises up in such a way that it is seen as good then people will need to know in order to save their souls.

Now it may seem that I am avoiding him but I really just need him to calm down and get back to the point of talking about what he knows and believes and not shouting it as if its fact. The videos offer a little fact to support its existence and then leave the viewer to come to his or her own conclusion.

My emotional life is not where I would like it to be. I should find myself excited to be in a serious relationship but I continue to find things that make me want to walk away. How do you really know when you have found the one? To many times I have been called the one and each time there was doubt in my mind. You only get one, “The One.”

I have my best friend worried about the end of the world, my boyfriend worried about trying to have sex with me and his job, my mother is worried about her church being corrupt, losing her job, trying to start business and whether or not my sister and I are really Christians. I have no real faith in anything but G-d the fact my sister loves me and that I live on planet earth. The rest I have my doubts no matter how small they are still there.

So why should I not go through times when I am depressed and unhappy, why should I not have days when I don’t want to be bothered? I would think that if the man I claim to be the one would see when I am in a mode where he should not approach me for sex. Why is it I can get people down to a tea but even the closet to me can’t figure out that Vixc B needs space. I keep thinking that I should go to Philly for a week and not talk to MeTo. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, or it can help a person really figure out what they want.

Today I read my bible and found it comforting, I felt that connection to G-d that I have wanted to have for a while. I then got on my computer and read Mr. M’s blog, I wanted to text him but I had to pull myself back, when he came to Philly I was not called and he never text me unless I text him. I went on to read some of my old blog post. A few from the NYC era, I read about how I felt when I realized the type of person Jazz was, how it felt to lose her as a friend, how it felt to come back home and see that everything changed. I read about when Jay met Josh and Jay paying for me to go to the pub crawl.

I figured I needed a break from MeTo so I could figure out want I wanted in my life but how would I tell him.

Did You Miss ME?

Hey guys just want to let everyone know that I did not post last week but I did do writing. So starting soon a will be unleashing a plethora of back post.

Funnie As Hell?