Here Is Some Food For Thought On . . .

Loving Me

I would say, and know many people that would agree, that when given the chance it is easy to fall in love with me, but to stay in a relationship with me once you fall in love is far from easy. I am moody, stubborn, and I don’t express my emotions until it is too late. Typically everything comes pouring out once I do something stupid and convince myself I have nothing to lose.

I think that is why I am so focused on finding a man who can honestly handle me. Yeah I like to get rough in the bed but my heart is a constant battle ground. One day I can be the most trusting person in the world and the next the opposite. I can wake some days happy to be alive and others pissed that I was not in the bed alone. I am well aware of the difficulty that is me and ergo I like to spoil my special someone. It used to be control and now it is just gratitude.

I value a man who can see through my defenses, the one who will look at me yelling and wait to ask what is really bothering me, or brave enough to tell me to calm the hell down. It is a huge turn on when I say something and he does what he can to indicate he herd me.

I am a man as well and I enjoy having my ego stroked, having someone to listen to me and I love being pampered. And so I like to beat my man to the punch, pamper him, spoil him, and stroke his ego, a man who sees the value in all I do and I willing to respond in kind. I want a guy who knows that I will bend over backwards to keep him happy because he tries to make me, someone who is not easily pleased, happy.  

I once had a guy who took joy in the fact that he got me and then one day it stopped. So I guess now I am on the market and trying to find love again.