Today I lost a friend. Someone whom I thought was dear to me;
a person who I thought would always value me being in their life tossed me
aside without any just explanation. I cannot help but feel hurt today. I know
that I should count my blessings and move on but I am finding it difficult.
I never understood how some people just toss people to the
side so unceremoniously. After years of knowing one another did I mean nothing
to you? After all the wrongs that we have done to one another and the forgiveness
that was given did you want to just toss it away? Four years I have known this
person and given of myself to them and listened to how great they thought I was,
yet not great enough to get a phone call but a text late at night. No emotion
no real explanation just that things are over and I should move on.
I feel like Carrie did when Burger broke up with her via
Post It. What is wrong with people that they start a relationship with such
gusto and end things without any emotion? I could see if I did something wrong
recently or said the wrong thing but to go from, “I love having you in my life,”
to not hearing from you, to a text calling things off, hurts. It feels like
everything this person ever said to me was a lie that that never thought I was
great or that I was even worth the time they spent with me.
I just don’t get it, how can I ever trust anyone ever again
who says they love me and are not family? How can I allow a man to look me in
the eyes and hear him say the most wonderful thing and not think, “Bull shit?” I
never broke up with anyone via text, it is just improper and most importantly it
is hurtful. It would have hurt a lot less if i got word today that they died.
How can I now not hate this person? I have no choice but to
move and never speak to them again. In the mean time I have to deal with a hurt
that is unlike any other. The hurt of trusting someone who for years said great
things and in less than a minute took it all away because it was convenient not
to be a man about it.
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