24 March 2013

And Now We Have It

One strange after noon I was not feeling well. Stressed with life and all the crazy shit that went down I found me stuck in bed with a headache on a rainy Monday. I ordered food nibbled and then went to sleep when I woke up at 2 in the morning to put everything away I noticed I had a text message and it read as follows:

                          “Hey (Vixc-B), how are things? I thought you should know… I am trying things out with a guy I met recently. I hope you understand… and I’m sure u would allow yourself to do the same if someone came along, right? J

The last I heard from this person was that we should wipe the slate of our past clean and work on giving us another chance. I was shocked that someone who for months would not let me go and convinced me to say, Ok let us work on repairing the damage, would do a 180 via text message.

It was not so much what he said but how he said it, via text message. Did that mean he never wanted to get back together or was this all a plan to hurt me? I would never know because he just disrespected me in the ultimate way and did not bother to apologize. He had no idea how I was doing and on top of the other bullshit in my life I was forced to deal with the drama that is now or was Doctor MeTo.

I took my time about responding, something about him mailing me my stuff but I soon realized that I did care that much for it and so I told him:

“I am taking the time to except the fact that you and I will never be. I also want you to know based on all of our history you are the one ex I truly do not wish to remain friends with. Best of luck with the future.”

To be honest not being friends with him is me saying I never want to see or hear from him again. I then went and deleted him from my phone and other parts of my life. I struggled to get ready for class that morning and ended up being late despite the fact I work up at 2am.

I then went and had a chat with the reverend and he agreed that a text message was a bad move and when my roommate came to pick me up from class we got to talking about exes and current boyfriends. Her jaw dropped when I got to the story of MeTo.

I decided since I was closing the chapter of my life that contained MeTo I would work on M. I sent him a text as well but a bit more friendly:

“Just wanted you to know that I have done a lot of thinking. I have come to terms with the fact that you and I will never be. If you would like to try being friends for real. I mean move past the whole ex thing and never have sex again, I am all for it. “

He responded to tell me that was fine which means, it now has to be tested. To move on amicably from one relationship was liberating, I still however felt slightly numb and it was not until I talked to Mister Wonderful that I began to feel like a human with respected emotions again.

My mother had pointed out that I seem to dream away my grief. Every time a close person to me dies I dream about some situation where they walk away. When my uncle passed I dreamt that we were having a party at my grandmother’s house. My uncle was there and I knew that he should not have been he walked around and made sure everyone was fine and never saying a word he left.

The night of the text message I dreamt I was in prison and it was the day of my release. My sister was coming to pick me up and I wanted to look my best. I was shown my lockers and in them were a tone of close among a few other things. I had a duffle bag, a suite case and a laundry basket. I packed everything up, looked at my luggage and decided I only wanted to take one bag, then I woke up.

I checked my phone to see if I got any text while I was sleeping and a new friend of mine had told me he was working on a song before I went to sleep, I asked what kind of song and he told me it was about someone he used to date. My face smiled and my heart sank, because only one song came to mind, “Put It In the 3rd Draw.”

 MeTo wrote that song for and about me during our honeymoon phase and would play it from time to time around the house even after we were engaged. It is funny our relationship started with such romance and while we had some drama for the past year I did my best to treat him with the respect he deserved that honored what we shared together. Now I was gathering all the things he gave me and all the memories we shared and putting them in a draw in the basement of my heart because if a text is how this all ends then it could have never of meant much.

A part of me keeps expecting a phone call or letter to explain further, give some poetry to what we had, but I know I hope in vain. It is hard moving on when the ending is so in just. A part of me wants revenge to share all the secrets that he has told me, to mock him publicly, to make him feel small and think that there is no way I could have ever cared but to do so would make me evil and damage me like I allowed him to do once before.

Damage, that is the focus hear, the part that I am missing. While I used to talk about Mister M and all the drama, he honestly never did anything to hurt me intentionally. Looking back he tried to be as kind as he could but I kept making it difficult setting myself up for hurt. As for MeTo he constantly proclaimed undying love but dated other men or ignored me. That is not love that is control and manipulation, I was a good back up for him and the person he called when the single life got lonely and that is why things ended with a text. 

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